Freaks & Geeks
The Diary

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The Diary

In the Weir dining room, Mom and Dad Weir and Kim's mother are having dinner and chatting. Kim's mom compliments them on their beautiful home and sets about telling them of the beautiful house she had before Kim's dad left. Mom sympathizes with her having to raise two kids on her own. Kim's mom mentions, "Chip, [her] oldest, he's got water on the brain, but he's a real sweetie." She describes Kim as being "a big pain in the ass," and "not the sharpest crayon in the box." She's full of the joys of motherhood, isn't she? Kim's mother continues bashing Kim and telling the Weirs that Kim goes to parties and gets loaded. How does her mother know? Why, she reads Kim's diary: "Oh, she won't do her homework but she's got a freakin' novel there." She sums up the state of teenage girldom by saying, "Times have changed. These girls today are wild."

After dinner, Mom and Dad Weir barge into Lindsay's room and forbid her to see Kim. Lindsay protests but Dad replies, "She's as dumb as a crayon, even her own mother says so." Lindsay shoots back, "Kim's mother is insane." Mom counters with, "She's not insane; she's practically a saint." Dad explains that one rotten banana will ruin a bowl of fruit and that Kim Kelly is one bad banana who experiments with drugs and boys. Lindsay doesn't refute these accusations very strenuously.

In Mom and Dad Weir's bedroom, Dad says that he doesn't trust Lindsay anymore, and brings up the cheating-with-Daniel incident. Dad wants to snoop in Lindsay's diary while Mom tries to veto it, remembering her own teenage diary days. She says it would be "a violation." They turn out the lights. In the dark, Dad says, "Oy, I've got the worst gas." Mom begs, "Please stop."

It's gym period again and about six boys, including the geeks, have yet to be chosen. Coach Biff has a word with one of the jock captains which results in the jock's choosing Gordon. Biff asks Gordon whether he wants to play shortstop. Gordon tells him that he prefers to play outfield. Bill volunteers to play shortstop. Biff insensitively snorts, "And I'm married to Raquel Welch. In my dreams." Gym teachers are always so in touch with feelings, aren't they? Everyone laughs and one of the jock captains makes his next pick by saying, "Okay, I'm going to take Not Haverchuk."

In the school hallway just outside of a classroom door, Lindsay meets up with Kim, who relates that her mom "loves" the Weirs. Lindsay breaks the news that she's not allowed to hang out with Kim anymore, but is certain that it will blow over and she'll just wait it out. Kim wants to know what Mom and Dad Weir said about her, and Lindsay tells her about the "bad banana" theory. Kim doesn't know what that means. Lindsay explains that they think Kim is a bad influence. Kim presses her for more details and Lindsay hesitates for a nanosecond then says, "You're not smart, you do drugs, you have sex -- stupid stuff like that." Lindsay says that her parents are morons. Kim says that she doesn't care what the Weirs think of her. Lindsay's Spanish teacher sticks his head out of a classroom door to tell Lindsay to come to class. Lindsay replies in pretty impressive Spanish that she needs to speak to her friend first and that it is important. The teacher responds in Spanish that class is also important. By this point, Kim has walked away. She stops when Lindsay calls after her but all Lindsay can come up with is, "I'll talk to you later." Kim noncommittally says, "Yeah, sure."

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