Freaks & Geeks
The Garage Door

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Time in a Bottle

The show begins in the Schweibers' monochromatic living room with the curved, sectional sofa. Bill is asleep on the floor and Sam and Neal are putting Monopoly money and game pieces on his face and chest. They're watching Saturday Night Live, which features Joe Piscopo doing his patently unfunny "I'm from Joisey" schtick. Neal laments Bill Murray's departure from SNL. Sorry Neal, it only gets worse but the bright side is that Caddyshack came out in 1980, and you've got Rushmore to look forward to in eighteen years. Sam yawns and wonders why SNL has to be on so late. Neal tells him it is because you can't say, "Jane, you ignorant slut" on television at 8 o'clock. Dr. Schweiber brings in some bowls of ice cream for them. Bill is still asleep until Dr. Schweiber yells, "Live from New York, it's Saturday night!" and wakes him up. Then, Dr. S. busts out his Sammy Davis Jr impression as he hands Sam his ice cream. Sam thinks that Neal's dad is cool and Neal agrees.

At McKinley High, a marching band with surprisingly few members is practicing the Chicago song "25 Or 6 To 4" on the playing field. Ken and the other freaks are watching from the bleachers and heckling the band. Nick thinks they are torturing the song and Ken wonders why Nick even knows the song. Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care about time? Oh, never mind. It's sad, but it was hard to be alive during the 1970s and not be familiar with the horrid song stylings of Chicago, so Ken should cut Nick some slack. Mick, my esteemed partner, still has nightmares about hearing "Color My World" being warbled out by someone playing a recorder. ["Heh. 'Color My World' is my parents' 'song,' if you know what I mean." -- Wing Chun] Ken picks on the tuba player girl in particular and yells that the tuba is big and sexy and it makes him hot. Then he yells, "Play some Billy Joel!" That's funny because the soundtrack of the episode with the geeks mooning after Maureen was filled with Billy Joel songs. Kim rags on a "pizza-faced" trombone player. Ken likens playing the tuba to "blowing into a toilet." Nice imagery, Ken, though I'm sure you've had many up close and personal encounters with toilets in your day. At this point, I would make a joke about tubamabas and saxomaphones, but even if the freaks could hear me, they wouldn't get it for at least another fifteen years. That's a shame. Lindsay nails Ken: "At least she knows how to play an instrument." Ken launches into a diatribe about Lindsay breaking up the band. Nick apologizes to Lindsay for Ken's attack on her.

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