Hello. I'm Wing Chun. I'm subbing for the illustrious Maggie for this episode. I'm looking forward to recapping a show that doesn't make my eyes, ears, nose, and throat bleed. Let's enjoy it together!
The episode opens on Mr. Rosso in his office (and in his bitchin' corduroy jacket with even bitchin'-er elbow patches). He's trying to teach the Freaks a lesson about positivity, saying that he could, if he were a lesser man, get up every morning and whine about how much it sucks to go to work. But in actual fact what he claims he does say when he gets up is, "Hot dog! Lemme at him!" Ken deadpans, "You actually say the words, 'hot dog'?" Mr. Rosso further claims that he does, and adds that he knows the Freaks are "struggling," but that that's why "they" made guidance counselors. He says, "I understand you've just been through puberty. You guys are tall -- I'm surprised you fit through that door, quite frankly, okay? Lotta times, you might see -- maybe you're taking a shower, or something -- and you go, 'What are these? What's that?'" Cut to Lindsay, looking horrified. Mr. Rosso winds it up by saying that they might think no one understands, but that he does, and that lots of people do: "Even Mr. Alice Cooper." At this, the Freaks perk up. Mr. Rosso says, "Bet you don't think he's a square, do you?" Nick appreciatively opines that "Alice Cooper rocks," and even Ken is smiling at Mr. Rosso with something in the same zip code as respect. Mr. Rosso picks up a guitar to accompany his own singing:
Lines form on my face and handsMr. Rosso asks Nick to "fill in the drums" as he strums his acoustic guitar for all it's worth, and Nick dutifully -- and with some measure of commitment -- air drums. Ken covers his eyes. Lindsay plainly can't take her eyes off Mr. Rosso and looks vicariously embarrassed.
Lines form from the ups and downs
I'm in the middle without any plans
I'm a boy (or girl) and I'm a man (or woman)
I'm eighteen [at this point Nick joins him]
I get confused every day
I don't know what to say
Eighteen [with a serious-faced Daniel]
I gotta get away
Cut to the Freaks filing out of Mr. Rosso's office. Daniel, looking oddly cute in a way-too-small shirt with its snaps fastened all the way up to his chin, remarks, "That was brutal," and Ken agrees: "I've never hated Alice Cooper as much as I do right now." Nick defends Mr. Rosso, saying that he's "really good at the guitar. Some of those chords are hard." Mr. Rosso comes out behind Lindsay, at the end of the line, and calls her back. She reluctantly turns, looking shell-shocked, and asks, "You're not going to sing again, are you?" Mr. Rosso says that he's worried about her, because she's "not one of them," and that soon she'll have to start applying for colleges, and that if she stays on the same path, those colleges will reject her. Lindsay goes to the "not everyone has to go to college" fallback (which is, of course, true) and reminds Mr. Rosso that Einstein and Thomas Edison didn't go to college. Mr. Rosso adds to her list: "Frank." Lindsay asks, "Frank who?" and Mr. Rosso says he's "the dude who pumps [Mr. Rosso's] gas." Lindsay rolls her eyes. Mr. Rosso throws up his hands and says, "Just saying." Cue the ass-kicking opening credits.