Subject: Coelacanth This!

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Cut to Chloe driving while Derek and Jason throw bologna and hot dogs out the car windows. Of course, it looks like they are in the middle of the desert, and not the woods, but whatever. Derek accuses Jason of farting, but Jason claims the smell is from the hot dogs. Yeah, I've heard that one before. From Glark. ["So have I. Half an hour ago." -- Wing Chun] In a long shot of the car, we see what might be a wing flapping. Inside the car, everything starts shaking and Derek and Jason yell at Chloe to drive. She does. Gee, I wonder if they will get away, given that we've seen Derek narrating the whole thing after the fact.

The Freakylinks gang hops out of their truck and run up to the sheriff, yelling that it's not a bear, it attacked them, and Joe Lockhart knows what it is. The sheriff asks if they've been drinking. Then, he tells them to drive out to the main road and keep going. Derek says that there is "something amazing out there, something incredible." The sheriff yells back, "No, there is not!" Derek tells him that he can pretend it doesn't exist, but it will be back in thirty years. The sheriff replies that in thirty years it'll be somebody else's problem, and gets back in his car and drives off. Lan calls on the cell phone. She says that the Civil War soldiers were real.

The sheriff approaches Joe Lockhart, who says he still hasn't found "the thing that took [his] Zeke." The sheriff asks if he really believes it. Lockhart says, "Yeah. How many people have to die, Sheriff, before you believe it too?" Could there be a more clichéd line? Well, only every other line in this episode, actually. The sheriff says he feels like he's in "a hole down in the dark somewhere." Lockhart starts to respond but then abruptly cuts off. Cut to Derek narrating that Lockhart immediately knew where the thing was that had killed his son -- right under his feet. But he wasn't going to let the Sheriff go with him. Lockhart fakes a swoon, and when the sheriff comes over to check on him, clocks the sheriff with the butt of his rifle. Now, if he would only do the same to Derek, Jason, and Chloe, we'd be getting somewhere. Lan can stay. I kinda like Lan, minus the whole Derek crush.

Speaking of Lan, she's on the phone, explaining about some letters she found in the Library of Congress. They were from a Civil War soldier and describe an encounter his regiment had with an "enormous creature" that was "within a shallow ravine in the northern heart of the forest" and that it's "underground." In case you didn't get that from the "under his feet" part earlier. Derek realizes that the ravine in question must be near Cassie and Brandon's campsite, since their Pig Hat map included a ravine.

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