Subject: Desert Squid! Myth Or Legend?

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Creepy Crawlers

The show opens with an RV parked in the middle of some desert, and text appears onscreen telling us this occurred "somewhere in East Texas...two days ago." Inside the RV, Derek and a little dog are looking at a television screen filled with static. Derek hits the side of the TV, exhorting it, "Come on! Work!" Chloe tells Derek he "can't avoid this." Some random guy tells Derek to take it easy on the VCR. Jason asks to try it and Derek snaps at him. Chloe wants to know why Derek thought he could keep them out of the loop. Derek protests, but Jason says that Derek is always going off by himself. Random Guy wants to know if this is how the gang normally works (i.e. fighting amongst themselves). Suddenly, there is a loud noise from on top of the RV, and the dog starts barking. Random Guy grabs a shotgun and pumps it, or cocks it, or whatever it is you do to shotguns. Chloe falls into Derek's arms, and they look at each other, and separate quickly. The RV continues shaking, and Derek picks up his camera. Random Guy doesn't want to be photographed. Derek talks into the camera, saying that there is "definitely something up on the roof." The RV shakes again, and Derek drops the camera. Something (a tentacle?) reaches in through the skylight in the roof (do RVs normally have skylights?) and grabs Chloe, pulling her up to the ceiling. Everyone tries to pull her down. Chaos ensues. Credits.

And thus begins what is probably the last new episode of Freakylinks we will ever see. Just when it was starting to grow on me. ["Oh, it was not." -- Wing Chun]

Cut to Freakylinks HQ in present day. Derek is narrating the story into the computer, telling us that the RV belonged to someone named Falcon (a.k.a. Random Guy). The video clip on the computer is paused on a shot of Chloe being dragged up to the ceiling, despite the fact that Derek dropped his camera when the thing hit. Oh, well. Jason interrupts and tells Derek not to start with Chloe being attacked, because people will be confused. Oh, that's so meta. Jason says he's worried that "the people in the black Suburban" followed them home. The door slams, and Lan walks in and drops some suitcases. She sarcastically thanks them for picking her up at the airport, and asks about the dog (the same one from the RV earlier). Derek ignores her question and asks her to dig out "the stuff underneath the static" on a videotape he has. Lan asks about the label on the tape, which says "De Santo" ("the toilet paper company?") but Derek ignores her questions yet again. Lan asks after Chloe and Derek and Jason exchange a look, but still don't answer her question. She's like Chandler on Friends last night, all invisible. Lan finally asks what's going on, and Derek reminds her about an email they got last week.

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