Freakylinks
Subject: Desert Squid! Myth Or Legend?

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Creepy Crawlers

Falcon and the gang are having a campfire outside Falcon's RV. Falcon thought they were with De Santo, a multinational conglomerate. Derek asks whether De Santo wants to kill them, and why. Falcon doesn't really answer, and Derek surmises that De Santo is behind the cattle mutilations. Falcon explains that De Santo made the Desert Squid; he knows, because he was there. Falcon used to work for De Santo when he was younger, disposing of "certain waste products in the desert." We see a flashback of Falcon dumping a crate into a hole in the ground. Falcon narrates that one time he heard something moving in the crate, so he pried it open to check. Inside, he found a body bag that was still moving, and he assumed it was "some sort of zombie corpse." ["I think we've all been there." -- Wing Chun] Falcon dumped the crate, took off, quit his job, and "went underground." Derek asks exactly what De Santo is up to, and Falcon admits that he doesn't know exactly, but it's "got to be something bad." Derek asks what was in the body bag, and Falcon doesn't really know that either. Derek asks why, if the incident happened twenty years ago, the cattle mutilations are just happening now. Falcon says he doesn't have all the answers (clearly!), but implores Derek to put his story on the website so that they can get more information.

We see the RV driving through the desert. Derek goes back into the diner bathroom where he saw Elsing, and yells out "Vince!" which is apparently Elsing's first name. There's no one there. Inside the diner, the rest of the gang is having similar results. Falcon decides to go outside and keep watch. Derek and the rest decide to search the place. Well, Derek does and the rest of them follow.

Chloe wants to know what's going on with Derek -- what he's hoping to find. They start looking through a bunch of boxes in a meat locker. Chloe is frustrated that Derek won't tell her what they are looking for. Jason finds something -- a bomb that only has four seconds left on the timer! He throws it out of the meat locker, and they all duck and cover. Outside, Falcon goes flying as all of the windows blow out and fire billows out of the windows. Someone -- probably one of the men in black -- observes and then the black Suburban takes off. Are the members of the Freakylinks gang dead? Well, the show is, so it really won't matter if the lead characters are as well. Except that they still have half an hour to fill.

Back from commercial, Lan learns that diving in the meat locker saved them. Except that it wasn't a meat locker -- it was an elevator, which led to the underground lab. This is getting more convoluted than the ending of Wayne's World 2. We see Chloe, Jason, and Derek plunging into the underground lab. Chloe worries that there's no way out. Derek thinks that the Desert Squid thing might be real. They film lots of lab equipment, and bottles filled with murky substances. Derek finds the videotape with the De Santo label, and pockets it. Chloe finds file folders that say De Santo as well, and they're all twenty years old. Jason wonders why, if this lab was abandoned twenty years ago, all the lights are still on. They come upon what looks like a bedroom. Chloe finds a fuse box hooked up to a bunch of car batteries, which explains the lights. There are a bunch of tubes and chains hanging from the ceiling, and we see Derek-cam and Jason-cam searching the room. The creepy part is that there is a rustling noise and every once in a while, a tentacle swings down behind one of the gang, but none of them see it. Yikes! They wonder if the tentacle followed them from the hotel. Yes! And it's right behind you! While looking around, they find the little dog, which scares them half to death. Jason deduces that One-Armed Guy was squatting down there. They realize that the dog probably knows the way out, and follow it up through a vent of some sort, ending up outside.

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Freakylinks

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