Freakylinks

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | 497 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The X-Files Rip-off

After a bunch of car-crash and autopsy photos flash on the screen, we see a monitor displaying a website called "Sick & Disgusted.com," clearly meant to be rotten.com. Derek and Jason enter a room where the owner of the site is sitting. Jason looks at a gross photo on the desk, and the site owner explains that it's a woman whose husband ran over her head with a car. Site Owner is all "death is a part of life," and Jason's all, "So is the sewer, but it doesn't mean you have to wallow in it." Site Owner appears to be rubbing his nipple or something, and it's more disturbing than those photos. Derek gets down to business and asks if Site Owner has the "Scotty's footage." He does, and he's going to charge $6.75 per download, starting next week. Why $6.75? What an odd amount. Derek wants to see it, but the Site Owner wants a trade. He wants some pictures Derek has. Derek groans. Site Owner's mom yells from downstairs that he needs to come fix the television. He screams back at her, and then resumes the conversation as if nothing happened. Jason wants to know what pictures they are talking about. Site Owner calls Derek's website "Freaky Stinks." Hee! I wish I had thought of that. Derek promises to e-mail Site Owner the pics tomorrow if he can see the video tonight. Site Owner buys it after Derek pinky swears. Are these guys in a tree house in the back yard or what? Who pinky swears anymore? Jason decides to leave instead of watching the video. Site Owner and Derek watch the same scene we saw at the opening of the show, albeit in black-and-white and from a different angle. After the gunman pulls out the gun, the camera pans over to Derek and Site Owner, but we hear him yell a foreign phrase and then, as Site Owner delicately puts it, "blow his brains out all over the apple pie." Derek wants to see it again to try to figure out the phrase. Site Owner claims that it's gibberish, but plays it back. Then Site Owner chews the scenery some more.

Chloe stands outside Sam's house, dictating her thoughts into her tape recorder. She disagrees with Dr. Gibson about Sam's problems having a physical cause. Just then, Sam runs out of his house and around to the back. Chloe follows. Sam squeezes through a loose slat of the fence, and Chloe is unable to follow him. Sam stands facing the doghouse. The dog, Lady, comes out and barks at him. Sam's shadow stretches out before him, and then those weird tendrilly things start growing out of it. Sam yells at the dog to run away. The dog runs into her doghouse (I'm assuming the name Lady means it's a female) and the tendrils follow. The light on the front of the doghouse goes out and the dog whimpers, and then runs out. The tendrils retract back into Sam's shadow. Chloe runs up and asks Sam if he's okay, but Sam runs away. Chloe sighs. She's still got that weird white-area-around-the-eyebrow thing going on from last week.

Freakylinks

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