Subject: Me And My Shadow

Episode Report Card
Kim: B- | Grade It Now!
The X-Files Rip-off

A woman and her ten- or eleven-year-old son walk into a restaurant that looks an awful lot like a Denny's. He has to use the facilities -- she's giving him a hard time because he said he didn't have to go every time she asked him earlier. What is he, five? He's gotta go, lady, cut him some slack. He begs her not to come into the bathroom with him. She tells him it's not safe, and they find the men's room.

A man wearing a trench coat walks unsteadily into the restaurant and sinks down onto the floor. Some of the other patrons shoot him weird looks. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a gun, which brings screams from the other people in the restaurant. He says, "I'm sorry!"

Cut to the bathroom where the mom is complaining about the long ride home ahead of them. The boy, whose name is Sam, suggests that they "call in sick tomorrow," and the mom smiles. A shot rings out. I've always wanted to type that sentence -- it's so hard-boiled. The mother and Sam creep over to the door and the mom tries to peek out the transom to see what's going on. They hear people screaming, plates breaking, and then another gunshot. The mother locks the bathroom door, and sends Sam away from the door as she continues to try to see what's going on. The noise dies down, and she tells Sam to wait there while she checks things out. She steps into the now darkened restaurant and sees all of the people -- dead. Sam follows her out, and stands there with the Manson Lamps, taking it all in, while his shadow falls on the guy with the gun, who's dead also. The mother tells Sam that they should leave, and we see Sam's shadow pull away. Then another shadow seems to crawl off the gunman and follow them out. Creepy.

Cut to Chloe watching a video on Derek's computer of Sam being questioned by police. She speaks into a microphone, explaining that this took place six hours after the incident, and the subject was already displaying signs of "depression, paranoia, and nyctophobia -- pathological fear of the dark." Would Chloe really need to define that in her own notes? On the screen, Sam screams at the police officers to turn on the lights. Derek walks up behind Chloe and scares her. He's obviously just gotten up, and please tell me she didn't spend the night with him. After some banter, Chloe explains that she came over early to use Derek's DSL connection to "download some video." She covers the screen so that Derek can't see it, explaining that it would be unethical to discuss it with him. Derek asks if it's the kid from "the Full Moon Massacre." Chloe grabs her things and leaves. Derek has this tattoo on his wrist that I've never noticed before. After Chloe leaves, Derek notices his shadow on the wall, and makes a dog puppet. I haven't seen that since fifth grade, when the slide show would end and kids would fight to make a bunny or a dog. Or a bat.

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