Subject: Me And My Shadow

Episode Report Card
Kim: B- | Grade It Now!
The X-Files Rip-off

Derek and Jason are eating in a restaurant. Jason wants to know why Derek wanted to come to "Scotty's," the site of the "Full Moon Massacre." That's probably their next big menu item, after "Moons Over My Hammy." Jason mentions that he's going to order "a side of nerve gas," and Derek points out that the police aren't sure that it was nerve gas, because Sam and Jennifer would have died as well. Jason keeps talking, saying that there's something more to this for Derek than a freakylink. Derek isn't listening -- he's looking up at the ceiling above Jason's shoulder. He finally comes back to the conversation, saying that "somebody got it on tape," as he points to a security camera mounted on the wall.

Back at Sam's house, Jennifer sleeps on the couch while Sam plays a video game. Chloe and Dr. Gibson sit down at the kitchen table to discuss theories. Chloe starts talking about "Jung's shadow theories," but Dr. Gibson doesn't think the problem is psychological -- it might be physiological, like a brain lesion. She starts detailing all of the testing they will do on Sam. Suddenly, Sam is standing right next to Chloe, staring at her. She tries to talk to him, but he just stands there and stares at her for a minute, then turns and walks away. Chloe looks defeated.

It's nighttime, and Dr. Gibson is walking Chloe out of the house. Chloe apologizes for not being able to help. Sam runs down the path and catches up with them. Wouldn't the kid be scared to leave the house, since it's so dark out? Chloe asks him what's going on, and he whispers to her that he "can't talk about it." Chloe asks what he means, and he whispers, "The thing in the dark." Dr. Gibson asks what he said as Sam returns to the front porch with his mother. The dog starts barking again, and we see Sam's shadow pass in front of the dog. A weird tendril-looking thing shoots out from the shadow and almost waves at the dog. Sam and Jennifer go back into the house.

After a bunch of car-crash and autopsy photos flash on the screen, we see a monitor displaying a website called "Sick &," clearly meant to be Derek and Jason enter a room where the owner of the site is sitting. Jason looks at a gross photo on the desk, and the site owner explains that it's a woman whose husband ran over her head with a car. Site Owner is all "death is a part of life," and Jason's all, "So is the sewer, but it doesn't mean you have to wallow in it." Site Owner appears to be rubbing his nipple or something, and it's more disturbing than those photos. Derek gets down to business and asks if Site Owner has the "Scotty's footage." He does, and he's going to charge $6.75 per download, starting next week. Why $6.75? What an odd amount. Derek wants to see it, but the Site Owner wants a trade. He wants some pictures Derek has. Derek groans. Site Owner's mom yells from downstairs that he needs to come fix the television. He screams back at her, and then resumes the conversation as if nothing happened. Jason wants to know what pictures they are talking about. Site Owner calls Derek's website "Freaky Stinks." Hee! I wish I had thought of that. Derek promises to e-mail Site Owner the pics tomorrow if he can see the video tonight. Site Owner buys it after Derek pinky swears. Are these guys in a tree house in the back yard or what? Who pinky swears anymore? Jason decides to leave instead of watching the video. Site Owner and Derek watch the same scene we saw at the opening of the show, albeit in black-and-white and from a different angle. After the gunman pulls out the gun, the camera pans over to Derek and Site Owner, but we hear him yell a foreign phrase and then, as Site Owner delicately puts it, "blow his brains out all over the apple pie." Derek wants to see it again to try to figure out the phrase. Site Owner claims that it's gibberish, but plays it back. Then Site Owner chews the scenery some more.

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