Freakylinks
Subject: Three Thirteen

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Friday the Thirteenth

Day turns to night. Ted, Jason, and Derek watch an old movie on TV that is probably about weird things happening, but I didn't see enough of it to tell you what movie it was. Ted asks how Derek got into this line of work. Didn't he watch last weeks' episode? In the background, there's a really obnoxious commercial for "Duppy's Gas-n-Go." It's so loud that it must be a plot point. Derek says his brother died, and he picked up where his brother left off. Ted asks about Jason, who says that he's "just in this for the health-care benefits." Yeah, still not funny. Piano music starts up in the background, and Ted says, "Oh my God!" and gets up. Derek and Jason follow. The clock reads -- wait for it -- 3:13. Jason-cam follows Ted to "the rec room," where they find Daphne furiously playing piano. It looks like Jennifer Aspen is actually playing, or she at least does a credible job faking it.

Cut to some guy from the university watching the video on Derek's computer in the Freakylinks offices. He asks if Daphne has ever played before, and Derek says, "Husband says the only thing she knows how to play is the kazoo." Buh dum bump. Thank you, ladies and gentleman. Derek Barnes. He'll be here all week. University Guy says that they had a woman at the university who could play by ear. Lan pipes up and asks if Daphne is actually playing something. University Guy says that it's "a pastiche," or "bits and pieces of almost every piece of classical music written in the past three hundred years." Come on. Every piece? That's just not possible. He focuses on one part of the song that doesn't really fit -- it's like a little jaunty Stephen Foster number in the middle of all this classical stuff. Then University Guy notices that Daphne is playing a song written to be played by four hands, and she's playing all of the parts, but with two hands. Lan tells Derek he needs to look at something on her computer. Porn? Just a guess.

Chloe is now sitting in front of Lan's computer, and University Guy is nowhere to be seen. Who was that guy, anyway? Chloe is not taking Derek seriously, like ha ha, those silly people who might hurt their baby. I mean, even if they thought the people were merely crazy, and not demonic, it's really not funny, is it? Instead of just telling her, Derek keeps making her watch the video of the nursery, and she doesn't get it. Just tell her! How annoying. Finally Derek explains that the blocks were rearranged, and it was impossible for any of them to touch them. Chloe asks what it means, and Derek reads the rearranged blocks, "Delaney Park." Chloe asks if the humming demon wants a picnic. Good god, this show is bugging me. Lan hands Chloe a printout from the Missing Persons Registry and says, "Delaney Park is a person." Derek adds that he thinks Delaney is a ghost who is haunting Ted and Daphne. Chloe protests that yesterday he thought Ted and Daphne were mentally ill, but Derek says that the block thing changed his mind, and that Chloe needs to see "the recital." Chloe worries that Derek is "fueling their delusions." Derek asks Chloe to "keep an eye on them" while he and Jason work it out. Chloe sways her head around the whole time, and Derek gives her the puppy-dog eyes. Normally, I'd be grossed out that he's hitting on his dead brother's fiancée, but I'm just so glad that Ethan Embry has moved from deer to puppy that I don't think about the gross aspects. Finally, Chloe agrees.

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Freakylinks

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