House of Plaid. Angela watches what looks like Dallas on TV and blabs on at Tyra, who's doing her homework in the next room, about some girl who's put on a lot of weight. Tyra asks her mom to cram it, and Angela does for two seconds before blabbing away some more. She does cram it for real, though, when a Buddy Garrity commercial comes on the TV. Buddy's car dealership's "three pillars of prosperity" are apparently "Honesty. Loyalty. Trust." But what is really too much for Angela is when he launches into his tagline "Deep in the heart of Texas. Deep in my heart. I'm your Buddy." God, should we add "pedophilia" to his list of pillars? Who else calls themselves "your Buddy"? Angela gets up and shuts the TV off and then spontaneously suggests they pick Ole Sis up at the club and go get pedicures. Tyra says she has too much homework, but Angela persists, asking her daughter to "think of your toes." Tyra smiles the tired smile of children with ridiculous parents.
Susie and Jason are out in a dismal-looking field. Susie smirks as she asks, "It's amazing, huh?" and we know we are in for a This Is Spinal Tap reveal of a tiny little monument. Which we get. Cut to them sitting inside the mini Stonehenge, instantly accelerated into "how'd you get engaged" talk accompanied by ponderous strings. I had no idea novelty roadside attractions could inspire such things. Jason jokes that he and Lyla "called a meeting" and talked it all over and decided the engagement was best. Susie gets it: "You were fighting." She asks what the fight was about and Jason tells her that Lyla slept with Tim. Susie snarks, "I'd propose." He says he was grasping at straws, afraid of losing her, and Susie says she understands. Please excuse this interruption in our regularly scheduled program, but WHAT in GOD'S name is up with her overplucked eyebrows? They are making me crazy. I'm praying for her to re-don those "smart with a fuck-it attitude" cute, thick-rimmed eyeglasses of hers. Okay. So the ponderous music has gotten a bit louder, Jason is leaning in, some yadda yadda about how easy she is to talk to, and then they're smooching it up, loud lip-mike style.
Tami and Coach slow-dance in their living room during one in the apparently never-ending string of long, warmly-lit late afternoons they have in their house. Tami laughs and asks Julie if she's watching, because "it's fun to dance with your father." Her head is pressed to her husband's shoulder as she mumbles about dancing, telling her daughter to let the man lead, but if he doesn't, "I find it's easy to lead with your hips and the rest will --" Coach abruptly pulls back from his wife in order to stutter toward his daughter about how she doesn't need to do too much with her hips. The Hair is in exclamation-point formation above his head. Julie says she's not going to the dance and Coach responds crankily, "All right, fine, then," and says he's not going either. Tami is the only one speaking Crazy Family Logic Truth here and she shouts, "No! Y'all are goin' to the father-daughter dance. I'm-a pull out my camera, I'm-a take a picture of you both, you're gonna look real happy, and I'm gonna cherish it for the rest of my life. So y'all better stop bein' a pain in the ass and make me happy for once." Love it.