Friday Night Lights
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Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: B | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Great and Noble Men of Dillon Panther Football
Coach and Tami in their bedroom, Coach worrying about why Julie doesn't want to leave Dillon. He mutters about how much he knows she'd love Austin. And he's right about that. He sits down and Tami gets wise, saying that she doesn't think Julie's resistance to their move has anything to do with Dillon. Coach thinks its him. Typical. Tami says that it isn't him, it isn't Dillon, or Austin: "I think our little girl is in love." Just then Julie walks into their room and leans on the door frame. There is not a smile within a thousand miles of this girl's mouth. Her parents tell her how nice she looks, Coach looking real meaningful when he says it. She insists that she's only going for one song. Tami holds up her camera and tells her daughter to smile. She does, if by "smile" you mean "twitches one corner of her mouth 1/753nd of an inch."

Jason hoists a twelve-pack of "National Beer" onto the counter in a convenience store. The proprietor says he can't sell the beer to him. Jason asks "C'mon, you can't sell it to me cuz I'm a cripple?" Uh, good guess, but...it's actually because he's seventeen, says the clerk. Meanwhile, Tim saunters into the store behind him. Jason begs, wondering if he was still playing football if he could buy the beer. Tim just comes up, swings two twelve-packs onto the counter, and indicates he'll pay for Jason's. The clerk asks, "Got ID, sir?" and Tim hands his over. He pays and Jason looks dejected, but both Tim and Jason stifle laughs and the clerk says, "Thank you, Sergeant Riggins," as they leave.

Outside, Smash and Matt sit in the car talking about their outfits or something. And dare I hope? Dare I even reveal this thin, delicate hope that I have harbored in my breast for so long? Dare I mention that it seems as if -- perhaps -- the MOTHERFUCKING TEAM IS BACK?!?! Smash and Matt hop out of the car as Jason comes out of the store with Tim, and excitedly invite him along. Jason at first says no, but then he can't resist, because who really can when IT'S THE MOTHERFUCKING TEAM. Back motherfucking together. Yes!

Cut to the football field at night. And if you blink, you might think you're watching a different group of Texan boys on a football field at night: Matthew McConaughey ("You just gotta keep livin', man -- L-I-V, I-N"), one of those London boys, and a whole lotta weed. Smash pushes Jason along, while Matt in a pulled-up hoodie wonders what Smash means by "bi-polar." Smash clarifies, "It means she's crazy." THE TEAM! IS! BACK! TOGETHER! Jason interjects that it just means that she has issues like everyone else. Jason is leaning over the stacks of beer. And if you ever wondered about my credentials in writing about immature kids and Texas, let me assure you that those packs of CANS of beer look simply mouthwatering to me right now. Matt wonders how Smash is dealing with the news and Smash declares he is dealing with it like a man: "Avoiding the cause, ducking the issue, hidin' in the bushes." Jason laughs and just then, it's Tim's voice over the loudspeaker: "Ladies and gentlemen. I present to you - you- you, the great and noble men of Dillon Panther Football."

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Friday Night Lights

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