Friday Night Lights, can we please stay the hell away from crime confession scenes for at least a few more episodes? Sheesh. The reporters badger Smash, Matt suggests that Smash tell the truth, and Gaius Charles is left with the only option he has with this awful script: go the "Mother! Sister! Mother! Sister!" route of acting confused. He pleads with them to all shut up and leave him alone, but when the reporter asks if his sister was hitting on the boy -- PUH-lease. Noannie is like thirteen. She's hitting on a seventeen-year-old? -- Smash finally snaps, telling the cameras (Seriously! Television cameras! Lying in wait for Smash in the Applebee's like he's Britney Spears going to...uh, Applebee's) that the white guys were saying foul things to him and his sister -- "racial things. Sexual and threatening." He says that he asked them to stop harassing his sister, but they didn't. The reporter wants to know if this means that Smash takes back his apology. This is what this plot is going to hinge on? Smash taking back an apology? Smash pauses and then says that the kid didn't deserve an apology; in fact, he deserved what Smash gave to him. Actually, he deserved worse. Cut over to Coach and Mac catching this interview in their office. Because they're hanging out in their office watching TV? What is any of this doing on TV in the first place? I mean, I know there's a writer's strike and all, but weren't there any hunting violations or hair-salon openings to cover?
Jason comes home to find Herc scrubbing a pot at the sink. Herc yells out that "hubby's home!" which is so totally endearing. Jason tells Herc that it was a pretty good day, that he sold a car. Herc wheels out of the kitchen with joy and says, "You're a salesman now! You're like Willy Loman!" I'm guessing Herc didn't get to the end of that play if he's comparing Jason the depressed salesman to Willy Loman the depressed salesman who kills himself. Jason is feeling sorry for himself and Herc tries to cheer him up, reminding him that he's got a little money in his pocket now. He suggests they go down to the rec center and get a pick-up rugby game going, then afterward go get some ribs -- he mimes holding some ribs up to his face and motoring across them with nibbling teeth -- some corn -- more nibbling -- and a hot chick -- still more nibbling. Maybe even the hot chick will have a friend for Jason, but probably one with buck teeth, you know, like, fangs. Herc's incessant jesting finally gets through to Jason, who agrees to go with him. He goes to get changed and tells Herc that dinner's on him -- he still owes him $19.40. So dinner and the girls, "both on you tonight." Herc fires right back, "No, well, the girls will be on me."