Mr. McCoy khaki pants his way into Coach's office apologizing for the smoothie incident, and plopping some scotch and cigars down on Taylor's desk. He assures Coach that he's not an "in your face football dad." Coach humorlessly tells McCoy that he can't take the gift. McCoy ignores him and sits down to lecture Coach about how he hates all the people calling into the radio criticizing Coach for building his team around Smash Williams: "Please, if you have a star, like Smash, you build a team around him." You can see where he's going with this. McCoy smarmily continues, pointing out that what Coach did with Saracen was a great thing. Coach replies, "Well, he's a great talent" and McCoy grins, "That's the thing. He is not a great talent. He's an average talent." McCoy tells Taylor that only a great coach could turn a kid like that into state championship material. Then he tells him that it's because Taylor is a great coach that he moved his whole family to Dillon. Coach is like "Wha-what?" And McCoy tells him that his son J.D. is the next Jason Street (Jason! Where are you?!), that Coach has a franchise sitting under his nose. Isn't it sweet when your dad calls you a franchise? It really is nice; you can see how well it's turned out for the Spears and Simpson girls.
Taylor household. It's 9:45 p.m. and Tami is just coming home. She's stressed. She tells her husband that she feels like an idiot, that she thought she'd go in there with all her great ideas. Coach leans over and tells her that she'll do great, she'll do alright. She tells him he's just trying to get laid. This little moment of domestic -- well, not bliss, but at least non-yelling -- ends when Tami gets a look at Julie's new schedule. Tami loses her shit, calls Julie in and yells at her for switching English classes. Coach looks on in confusion. Julie smirks that they can't change anything now, "Dad already signed off on it." Tami reminds them all that she's the principal and can pretty much change anything she wants. She shouts at both her husband and daughter to not raise their voices in a house where a baby is sleeping. Coach asks Julie if she knew she was not supposed to switch classes and she rolls her eyes and walks away. Coach calls after her that she'll be twenty-five before she sees a car in that driveway.
Cut over to a dive bar with some live country music. Landry and Tyra sit in a corner, Tyra looking on at her sister and mom both dancing drunkenly with their various paramours. Tyra tells Landry that what they're looking at is her future: "I'm gonna become my sister. And then my momma." Camera cuts over to Ole Sis and Momma, and the prospect is not appealing. Billy drunkenly crashes up onto the stage and takes the microphone, a huge margarita in his hand. He starts slurring into the microphone, addressing Mindy Collette (aka to us as Ole Sis), saying that even though they've only been dating five weeks he sees a future for them, with three or four little Mindy's and Billy's running around, "uh, or maybe less." How sweet! I can see them now: ears pierced, weary miniskirts and wedge heels at four years old. Aw. Billy continues, "So, I humble myself, here at Seven Senoritas Canteena" -- cut over to Landry whose jaw is just hanging over -- "So I ask ya, will ya marry me?" Mindy shrieks yes and there's hugs all around. Tyra looks green, and her mom, shockingly, not quite sharp enough to understand why she looks that way, tries to reassure her daughter not to worry, that there's a man in Dillon for her -- "maybe even here in this room!" Tyra's life continues to flash depressingly before her eyes and she sort of lurches over to sit back down.