The football players file out of the locker room on their way to practice. Julie leans against the building and catches Matt as he comes out. She tells him that her mom saw him buying condoms. Zach Gilford's reaction shot is perfection. He's clearly thinking "witness protection." His first question is whether Tami told her husband, Julie assures him that she didn't, though you can tell this is a bigger deal to Matt than Julie. His second question is an assumption that they won't be having sex now. Julie: "No, we're gonna do it. I just don't understand what the whole hysteria is over losing your virginity." Matt tells her that he got Bradley's lake house for their rendezvous, and Julie is immediately, yup, a bit hysterical over the prospect of Bradley and the whole team knowing. Matt tells her that Bradley won't tell, that he promises nobody will know, and Julie nods trustingly. Another sign that you aren't ready to have sex? Ever believing that the whole team doesn't know.
On the field, the whole team knows. Smash declares, "Hundred eighty seconds. Anything else is failure." (Glark? Another t-shirt? Perhaps for the XXX Glarkware line?) Matt stutters, "Hundred eighty? I can do a hundred eighty." I half expect Smash's pep talk will continue with him recommending that Matt imagine Coach Taylor in the room with a stopwatch, but then I quickly realize how horribly, horribly wrong that image is. Some other boy instructs Matt that he needs to use a camera phone. Matt mutters that he doesn't even have a phone. Tim tells Matt not to listen to these rookies and then weighs in with his own stellar advice: "Remember the first time you drove a car?" Sports metaphors are one thing, but if you find yourself comparing sex to driving a car, well, you probably aren't very good at sex I suppose. In any case, Matt tells Tim that the first time he drove a car he "crashed it and now Landry drives me around." Oh, lord, there is a joke in there somewhere.