During all this awesome stuff, some other annoying stuff is happening, like Daddyshack coming onto the field and making big blabbies about how great Tim is doing on the field, harassing Coach about playing Tim more, ignoring Coach's requests that he watch from the sidelines, and then whining like a big crybaby about how Coach thinks he's better than him. I could not have less patience than I do with this idiot. Shut up, Daddyshack.
After practice, Coach is in his office when Mac "Just a Mistake" MacGill comes in and tells Coach that a camera is missing from the AV room. Coach exposits that it's worth $3,000 and instructs Mac that he'd better find it. Is Mac going to get a spin-off where he tracks down stolen items in blonde pigtails, a short plaid skirt, and some ass-kicking black boots?
At the Garritys' house, Lyla is on the phone with Jason while he -- this time literally -- blah blah blahs on and on about Quad Rugby. Buddy comes home with flowers and heads into the kitchen where his twenty-five-year-old wife is making her fifty-year-old husband and eighteen-year-old daughter dinner. Lyla looks on in horror as Buddy starts making out with her mom. Jason is still blabbing but we hear him realize that Lyla isn't listening, and she tells him it's only because of the horror show she's witnessing. Then Lyla overhears Herc shouting to Jason in the background about a party. Lyla's all "But hunny! I thought we were lame!" Cut to Jason's room where he lies that it's not really a party, but Herc outs him by saying loud enough for Lyla to hear, "It's not 'party,' its 'par-tay'" The man speaks the truth, at least. Cut to Wittle Wywa fuwwowing hew wittle bwow.
Cut to the Par-Tay with lots of wheels and lots of woos. PEOPLE STOP IT WITH THE WOOS! A girl walks over to the kitchen sink and opens the cabinet door underneath, and our friend the quadruple amputee rolls out. Yawn. Like that doesn't happen every Wednesday night in my house. The girl --with that particularly bad "alternative" shade of died red hair (I can mock because I've done it) -- shrieks and everybody laughs. Jason sees his Our Lady of Wheels near the stereo, and he approaches her. She says she's supposed to pick out the next song, but she doesn't recognize any of the music. Jason points to one saying, "It's a classic, gotta go with that one." She puts it in, expositing, "Loretta Lynn, nice." Whatever. Jason apologizes for his TRULY HORRIFIC gaffe the other day. WTF? She apologizes back, and they make small talk. She tells him that her "business" is "ink. I'm a tattoo artist." Jason LOVES it. "BECAUSE I'M A CRIPPLE AND I WANNA TATTOO, MOM."