Julie tells Matt that she thinks they should have sex and he immediately goes to the drugstore with Landry to buy some condoms where Tami sees them buying condoms and then goes home to wait for Julie to come home and then confronts her daughter and somehow finds a way to toe the line between saying "NO WAY IN HELL, MISSY" and also "I love you, and I want you to be able to talk to me about this" and if I sound breathless it's because it was all perfect.
Jason goes to Austin for quad rugby tryouts and meets -- surprise -- an Austin girl with a lot of tattoos.
Tim finds out that -- surprise -- his pallid drunk of a father is a jerk and a thief.
Buddy did Tyra's mom (thank the LORD it was off screen) so of course he has to fire her, but it turns out that he is one Fat Cat too many because she goes to CHURCH on Sunday morning to confront him in front of God and everybody else.
And Julie keeps pursuing the sex until she tells Matt that she thinks a stuffed deer head is judging her dirty intentions, which tips him off that maybe she isn't ready, so instead they just leg wrestle and tease each other about their dirty feet and then fall asleep and so Julie misses curfew, and the Taylors are up waiting and pissed but she tells them the truth that she and Matt didn't have sex and she thanks her mom for the talk and hugs her and did I mention it was all perfect?
The Saloon, Austin. Tim and Daddyshack are hustling pool. Tyra is there watching; Daddyshack is fully off the wagon. Or is it on? I always have a hard time with that idiom. One of the guys they're hustling starts giving Daddyshack a hard time. Daddyshack talks some trash about the hundred bucks this guy owes them. Tim looks back at Tyra mischievously and she tells him "Don't." But, oh, he wouldn't be Timmy if he didn't. He grabs a pool ball and thwaps the guy in the kidneys with it, which sends Daddyshack into convulsions. The guy turns around and demands to know who did it, and even though this whole bar will come out in support of kicking Tim's ass later, nobody gives him up here. Also, for some reason the bouncer that will throw Tim out for starting to scuffle with this guy for some reason doesn't see "cheap shot to the kidneys" as a bounceable offense. But I guess if Timmy and Random Bar Fly didn't start scuffling we wouldn't have a chance to witness Daddyshack leaving Tim's ass to flap in the breeze as he opts not to help the poor kid out.
Flashcards of sexytime. This here is a whole different world of conjugation than the one I'm familiar with. Matt asks Julie "hablar," and she thinks for a second before rattling off "hablo, hablas, habla, hablamos." You forgot the informal third person plural, Julie! ["Not to mention the vosotros form! I know!" -- Joe R] You'll thank me for reminding you when you are trying to have an affair with a haughty Spainiard in Granada your junior year abroad. After she masters the conjugation, she challenges Matt to remain master of his domain as she lunges for him and they fall backward onto the bed making out. Knock at the door and Matt rolls off Julie and falls onto the floor just as Grandma walks in wanting to know if he ate her pudding. Grandmother!! She complains that he knows she likes a little pudding at the end of the day. Well, don't we all, Grams, but control yourself woman! Finally, she tells her grandson, "Hands off my tapioca, Matthew." Glark? Are you reading this? T-shirt please. She closes the door, and Julie and Matt devolve into giggles, Matt still wedged on the floor between his bed and the wall, Julie trying to look casual on the bed with her flashcards of sexytime.
Cut outside where Tami waits in the car for Julie. She and Matt pause on the stoop; Matt proposes another study session, Julie proposes sex: "I think we should have sex." Matt stutters his way toward Bethlehem as Julie tells him that it's time and that "we should get on that." Julie struts off to her mom's car. Tami calls out the window to Matt, and he looks after those saucy Taylor women: "Huh-huh-hi...Mrs....Mrs. Coach...."