Uninspiring credits. Alamo Freeze. Matt and Smash are working, Landry just hanging around. We catch Landry dispensing not only bad but possibly deadly bad advice this time as he reaches into his wallet and pulls out an old condom to give to Matt. Smash walks over with his tongs, snaps the package in their grip and tells Landry to "get that nasty ass raggedy thing outta here." Smash pulls the embarrassed Matt toward the back and employs a Ye Olde Sex-as-Sport Metaphor in his own version of bad advice. "You got her at first-and-inches, but you still gotta read the coverage." Smash talks out both sides of his mouth when he tells Matt that he isn't trying to encourage sex out of wedlock but that if Matt is going to do this he will need to "think about logistics." Time, place, fresh protection, he says.
Herc drives Jason down Sixth Street, and it must be that magical two-hour window on Sixth Street when there aren't frat and srat folks puking all over the pavement. I wonder if Jason might run away to Austin to become the assistant for that guy who does airbrush paintings of unicorns and manatees raising their beautiful Manacorns? Herc tells Jason that Sixth Street is "party central" and that he'll be eyeball deep in beautiful ladies. He then proceeds to honk his horn and "woooo!" out the window at a couple of co-eds standing in the rain waiting for the bus. Jason is just worried that they'll be late for practice. After their accidents, I suppose, Herc got the overactive "wooo!" gland; Jason, the unfortunate "lame-o" reflex.
Herc and Jason wheel themselves, along with their Sportz Chairz into the gym. Blah blah blah, Herc is a randy horndog, Jason is a wet blanket. They wheel up to the two young women working the registration table. Herc is all "Hey, baby!" while Jason is all "Um, I don't have time for a conversation" to his girl. The girl tells him she isn't trying to have a conversation, she's just asking him the questions on the form. Jason reacts a little disproportionately to what just happened. Instead of looking slightly embarrassed, he looks like he just accidentally pooped on the desk in front of her. The woman is all tough doe eyes. I don't understand the forced import of this interaction. Also, I don't understand why I should give a fuck.
Tyra walks up to a little house and knocks on the door. A blonde answers and Tyra asks for Billy. The blonde calls behind "Billy! Some chick's here." Billy comes out, and Tyra tells him that she's there because Tim is drinking again. The blonde calls out from the background that "Deal or No Deal" is on. If they were watching the Telemundo version it would be "Vas o No Vas," a translated title I find hilarious to utter in a really deep, dramatic voice. Billy tells Tyra that Tim's drinking is "right on schedule" and then tells her that she can't help him, that he chose Walt (i.e., Daddyshack), he's made his bed and all that.