West Dillon. Tami and Glenn are going over required reading lists when Glenn asks if Tami's family celebrated her big achievement last night. Now, for all we know, Tami didn't even tell her family about the blue-ribbon thing, because she's humble like that but also because the sad reality is that Tami's awesomeness does sometimes take a back seat to Eric's firearm-based inner struggles and Julie's apocalyptic heartbreak. But she vamps for Glenn's sake, saying they had "sort of a celebration." Now, if you're Glenn, the only person on Earth who worships Tami Taylor more than we do, this just won't do. He insists that Tami take the proper time to bask in her accomplishments, and even though Tami keeps trying to deflect and make it "everyone's" accomplishment, Glenn nevertheless cooks up the idea of gathering up all the teachers for a faculty night out. At a karaoke bar. There isn't a thing in the world that's not improved by that sentence there, but think about all your high-school teachers going out and getting drunk and singing? Yeah. Tami throws her head back and laughs because she is delighted and terrified.
East Dillon (you can tell because the cafeteria looks like it's caged in). Luke is catching a nap at the lunch table. It honestly looks like he passed out in the middle of reaching for a Dorito. That's not dignified, y'all. You know who agrees with me is Tinker. Giant, lovable Tinker. He spots Luke and sits down across from him, waking him up. "Doing this whole drunk-out wino thing in the cafeteria ain't gonna get you nowhere with the ladies, dude." Tinker has a point. Luke explains about the fence and the late hours and how some idiot's been stealing all his family's cows. Tink offers to ask the team to come pitch in at the ranch some time. Luke's slightly incredulous that the guys would do that. Tink's optimistic, though. Luke thinks that's super and pulls up his bag of chips, which will be his pillow for the next 10-15 minutes until the bells rings and this waking nightmare of a daily grind continues. Sorry, I'm getting melodramatic, but I'm having a low-sleep day myself and that chip bag of Luke's is looking awfully inviting.
Coach is in the locker room when Regina, Vince's mom, shows up. She's miraculously still sober, and she wants to thank Coach for making Vince QB. She talks about the change she sees in him now -- "He's like a kid again." Oh, man. At all of...what, fifteen? Sixteen? To have seen that light go out of your kid's eyes so long before now -- to know that it was probably you who caused it? Man. Anyway, Coach says the thing coaches say about how he didn't make Vince QB, he did the work and put himself there. Yeah, but Coach paved the way, and Regina knows that. "Thank you for believing in him," she says, while Coach's face reads a mixture of guilt and more guilt for having done no such thing the other day at the lockers. Mom guilt. Works every time.