Tim Riggins leads the seniors in making the freshman run the "Naked Mile." It's not quite as naked as some viewers would prefer, but this is network television and actual freshmen are 14/15 years old, you perverts. Tim tells J.D. that he has to run two naked miles and Coach Taylor happens to be a witness, but he promises to not tell J.D.'s dad. Later, at practice, J.D. has problems and the other team members tease him about being naked and such. Coach takes Tim aside and tells him that it's up to him, as captain of the team, to get the other players to respect J.D. Tim takes J.D. for a tour of Dillon as a way to bond. It works and the Panthers beat Westerby. Tim tries to take J.D. out with the other players to make some "memories," but his daddy makes him go to Applebee's with his mom instead. At The Dillon Dance that weekend, Riggins and Lyla take J.D. to an off-campus party, where, due to non-Riggins-related peer pressure, J.D. gets really drunk. The next day, at church, J.D.'s dad makes J.D. apologize to Coach for being drunk. Coach seems more disturbed by the father than drunk J.D.
Jason Street, you're better off. Erin leaves with their baby, Noah, though she assures him that she'll return once he's gotten the hefty "cushion" he expects from flipping Buddy Garrity's house. He's wrong. Billy is no Nate Berkus. He's a loose cannon when it comes to renovations, buying expensive toilets with bidets and whatnot and even staple guns his hand. Coach visits the house, which is in shambles by this point, and Jason freaks out and says that he has made the worst mistake of his life and is afraid he's going to be a deadbeat dad. Coach tells him to chill-- he's made a plan and is trying to execute it, so there's no sense in beating himself up. He also apparently helps Jason get the renovations on track. Jason sings to Noah on the phone, while Erin is on the side of the road during her trip to her parents' place. Something seems weird about the length of time it is taking for her to make the trip.
Cash gives money to Tyra so she can apply to multiple colleges, including the University of San Francisco. Her mother tells her that she needs to hold on to a man like Cash, what with him taking care of her all soon in the relationship and all. That night, a woman with a small child shows up at her house looking for the $1600 in back child support that Cash owes her. Yay college! Tyra breaks up with him.
Tami has to chaperone The Dillon Dance and can't get Julie or Coach to go with her. She does talk to Tyra though and has to convince her that she's not gloating about being right about Cash. Later, Cash tells Tyra that the woman, Ali, is someone he hooked up with once five years ago who says that her two-year old is his. She crazy. Tyra believes him. Fishy.
Matt and Julie go to the lake where she counsels him about losing QB1 by comparing it to not being asked back to baby sit for a kid when she was 12. They were also cute and flirty. And, they spend the night together by the lake. It's totally sweet. Also sweet -- Matt and Julie stealing glances at each other in church the next day.
Landry has creative differences with the bassist in his band and dismisses him. This sweet girl Devin auditions to be the new bass player and proves to be a pretty mean vocalist as well. She tells him that all of his songs sound like they're about one girl (Tyra) and he needs to get over her.
Hi folks, Jeff here, sitting in for the awesome Drunken Bee. Let's get to business. Tim Riggins is talking to the freshmen football players from the back of his pick-up. He thanks them for taking time out of their "busy schedules" (aka Watching This Old House with their folks) to partake in a little Panther tradition. Billy says that they've all been there and the guys will look back one day and see that there is a purpose to this ritual. This sounds exciting. It's The Naked Mile. The seniors cheer. Charles says that he'd always thought The Naked Mile was a myth. Another Senior says that he personally wishes that it were a myth, because that means he wouldn't have to see Charles's fat ass running naked. He kids. The freshmen are beseeched to remove their garments, except for their shoes. That's considerate of them. A stubbed toe would really make this night go downhill quickly.
The senior approaches naked J.D. and tells him that the rest of the freshmen are running to the water tower, but he, or "Superstar" as he is called, will be running to the field house. The senior says it's because J.D. is the quarterback and has to run "that extra mile." Naked. And, they're off. The freshmen start running their naked mile together, while J.D. runs his longer course alone. The camera stays with J.D., who is really booking it. Naked and cleverly shadowed in Janet Jackson territory. This isn't HBO, it's TV.
J.D. has made it to the field house and is walking past Coach's office, when he realizes that it is occupied. With Coach, who is listening to some old school country on the radio. J.D. tries to retreat into the shadows undetected, but Coach has already seen him. J.D. grabs a team photo for coverage and tries to sneak past Coach's office, but he tells him to come in. "Where the hell are your pants?" he asks. If I had a dollar for every time I've been asked that, I could be a one-man stimulus package. J.D. starts to explain that tonight was the, um, night of the, um... Coach cuts him off. "The Naked Mile? You fell for The Naked Mile?" Well, in his defense, the entire freshmen crew fell for The Naked Mile. But what's there to fall for really? It's not like they were promised that running naked would bring riches and eternal youth. They run naked to gain the respect of the upperclassmen. Grown ups do NOT get it. Coach tells him to take "his team" (he means the photo, it took me 6 times of viewing to get that joke -- that's a confession, not a criticism) and get dressed and Coach will take him home. Take that, seniors -- he probably ran half the race AND he gets a ride home. Of course, he doesn't get the respect, which is what the whole thing is about in the first place. Oh well. It is indeed not easy to be J.D. He asks Coach to not tell his father about this episode and Coach says that he wouldn't dream of it.