Hi folks, Jeff here, sitting in for the awesome Drunken Bee. Let's get to business. Tim Riggins is talking to the freshmen football players from the back of his pick-up. He thanks them for taking time out of their "busy schedules" (aka Watching This Old House with their folks) to partake in a little Panther tradition. Billy says that they've all been there and the guys will look back one day and see that there is a purpose to this ritual. This sounds exciting. It's The Naked Mile. The seniors cheer. Charles says that he'd always thought The Naked Mile was a myth. Another Senior says that he personally wishes that it were a myth, because that means he wouldn't have to see Charles's fat ass running naked. He kids. The freshmen are beseeched to remove their garments, except for their shoes. That's considerate of them. A stubbed toe would really make this night go downhill quickly.
The senior approaches naked J.D. and tells him that the rest of the freshmen are running to the water tower, but he, or "Superstar" as he is called, will be running to the field house. The senior says it's because J.D. is the quarterback and has to run "that extra mile." Naked. And, they're off. The freshmen start running their naked mile together, while J.D. runs his longer course alone. The camera stays with J.D., who is really booking it. Naked and cleverly shadowed in Janet Jackson territory. This isn't HBO, it's TV.
J.D. has made it to the field house and is walking past Coach's office, when he realizes that it is occupied. With Coach, who is listening to some old school country on the radio. J.D. tries to retreat into the shadows undetected, but Coach has already seen him. J.D. grabs a team photo for coverage and tries to sneak past Coach's office, but he tells him to come in. "Where the hell are your pants?" he asks. If I had a dollar for every time I've been asked that, I could be a one-man stimulus package. J.D. starts to explain that tonight was the, um, night of the, um... Coach cuts him off. "The Naked Mile? You fell for The Naked Mile?" Well, in his defense, the entire freshmen crew fell for The Naked Mile. But what's there to fall for really? It's not like they were promised that running naked would bring riches and eternal youth. They run naked to gain the respect of the upperclassmen. Grown ups do NOT get it. Coach tells him to take "his team" (he means the photo, it took me 6 times of viewing to get that joke -- that's a confession, not a criticism) and get dressed and Coach will take him home. Take that, seniors -- he probably ran half the race AND he gets a ride home. Of course, he doesn't get the respect, which is what the whole thing is about in the first place. Oh well. It is indeed not easy to be J.D. He asks Coach to not tell his father about this episode and Coach says that he wouldn't dream of it.