They're dropping like flies in the Taylor household. Julie lets Coach's misunderstanding of what Tim was doing in her bedroom stand, so Tim is out. When Coach finds Tim sleeping in the locker room, he kicks him out of there, too. One gets the feeling Coach wants to kick Tim out of life. Then when Shelly just continues being her charming -- excuse me, I meant "charming"-- self, she starts really getting on Coach's and Tami's nerves. Eric snaps and kicks her out. Tami is annoyed but relieved she didn't have to do it herself, and then the two sisters make up when Shelly announces she's moving to Dallas. And then there were four.
Smash is getting pummeled by recruiters, and something about verbal agreements has everyone in a tizzy. And there's a lot of drama coming from his mama about which college he'll go to, but none of that drama made sense to me. Like, why not Alabama again? And if Smash and his mom always agreed that they both wanted him to go to TMU, why was there drama in the first place? Anyhow, Smash gets a late but desired solicitation from TMU, and to TMU he'll go. He continues to date the awful Noel. We'll see how long that lasts when she discovers Waverly's skeleton in his trunk.
Tim finds his way back to The Playgirl Ranch, where Billy is late on the mortgage and broken up with whatshername. Tim and Billy decide to bond by stealing three thousand dollars from Ferret Guy -- "biggest drug dealer in Dillon" Billy declares -- to cover the late payment. Just as Tim is rubbing his dumb hands together wondering what they'll do with the extra stolen cash, Coach comes over to say that Julie told him what really happened the other night and that he thinks the boy's actions were "honorable, real honorable."
Not acting too honorable is Little Coach Dickie, who is rebuffing Eric's attempts to be friendly. But things really get weird when, in the middle of a football game, Dickie launches off the sidelines and tackles the touchdown-bound Tim Riggins and then gets up and (tiny) rages around the field like a (tiny) crazy man. And my husband will confirm that the second he did that I declared, "Eh, either he's dying or his wife's dying." Ding, ding, ding, folks! It's the latter. Little Dickie is sad because he, and I quote, "doesn't have a game plan for this." Somewhere, even Matthew McConaughey groans.
Meanwhile, I'm considering issuing an Amber Alert on Jason Street.
Noelle is driving along, smiling, because for some reason this girl is always smiling. It makes her so unlikable. Panther Football Radio tells us that it's recruiting season and that what matters nowadays is "verbal commitment." Noelle's cell rings; it's Smash, wondering where she is. He says Alabama is there and Oklahoma Tech is on its way, and tells her to hurry up.
At the Williamses', an Alabama recruiter is talking Tuscaloosa nonsense to Smash, lots of "God Bless America and God Bless Football!" Corinna looks on, unimpressed; Noelle busts through the door, and Smash greets her with relief. She dances her little jig for the Alabama coach, impressing him with her knowledge of their record-- "eight national championships" -- and playing hardball with him, narrowing her eyes and wanting to know if he'll waive "the physical" for Smash. Cut to Oklahoma Tech wheeling and dealing, Noelle nestled next to Smash on the couch, you guessed it, smiling. Nonnie and Corinna hang around in adjacent rooms being annoyed at Little Miss Thing. Pile on some more recruiting, some more Noelle smiling, and end on a guy from Georgia wanting a verbal commitment. Smash says he'll let him know and then thanks him for the peanuts. Georgia guy tells him how tasty boiled peanuts are and then declares, "So good they'll make you want to slap your Grandma." Anyone else weirded out by how much this Georgia recruiter looks like Mike Huckabee (both of them obviously total monobrow waxers)? Noelle beams at Smash as Georgia Guy leaves. What is this girl's motivation? She makes no sense to me.
Making all too much sense is how Julie wakes up: hungover. She grabs a bottle of Tylenol off her night stand but has to hide it under the covers when her dad comes in her room. "Either Way" by Wilco plays in the background. Note to self: Next time hungover, play the very soothing "Either Way" to ease the ache. Before Julie can say anything, Eric apologizes to her for putting her in "that situation." I can't believe he didn't notice at all how drunk she was the night before. Like he didn't check in on her after he threw Tim out of the house? And realize that she smelled like a brewery? Or the floor of a frat house? Anyway, this morning, Eric won't let her say anything, and Julie lets him continue to think that Tim was macking on her, rather than quixotically dragging her drunk ass home. Eric tells her she needs to pick it up or else they're going to be late. So much happens before breakfast on television!