So here we are, Tim talking to what's-her-face -- a storyline I was okay with when our main characters still hung out with one another occasionally-- and getting some closure. She tells Tim that she and Billy broke up; Tim is mean to her, suggesting she finish the Riggins trifecta by going for his dad next. She says she knows she deserves it, and then tries to excuse herself by saying that she was alone and scared and trying to make a life for her son. She tells Tim that it didn't work out with Billy because he lost his job; Tim is not surprised. She tells Tim to patch things up with Billy, because Billy really loves him. Tim walks off unceremoniously.
Eric is at home watching a game tape when the screen goes to snow. The picture snaps back, only to show the opening credits of The Office. Shelly walks in with a laundry basket and chatters that she's so excited that it taped, she was worried it hadn't. She says Eric would love it but then takes it back: "It's very 'talky.'" Eric snaps, "You taped over my game." Shelly apologizes, but not very convincingly. She follows it up by suggesting that the Taylors get a TiVo. Eric starts packing up his notebook and lets her have it: "Can I ask you something? Do you have a concept of personal privacy? Like personal, private moments, in the privacy of one's own personal space?" Shelly is confused like she doesn't know where this is going. Come on, lady! Eric comes out and says it: "I understand that your my wife's sister but we were wondering when exactly you are going to get a place of your own?" Shelly claps her hand to her gaping mouth while Eric tries to assure her that he didn't mean it the way it came out. She tells him to stop talking and then shuffles out of the room, muttering that she feels really stupid right now.
Coach is eating a sandwich in his office. Smash comes in, Noelle following. She's smiling, ugh. She shakes Coach's hand and then smarms that the way he took down West Cambria in the state championships was "the best-coached game I've ever seen." We get it. Girl knows her football. Can we move on? Oh, of course we can. We can move on to another scene where we're supposed to believe there's something at stake in Smash's recruiting. Noelle tells Coach that Alabama is at the top of Smash's list; Coach seems surprised. Noelle likes Alabama for the "exposure"; Smash thinks that Alabama will give him good ties to the pros, "living the NFL dream." Coach asks about TMU, and Smash hypothesizes that they're getting back at Coach for leaving them in the lurch; Coach says that his history with the school won't affect whether they want Smash. Smash says that he has to give a verbal, and Coach wonders why he has to before he hears from TMU. Coach tries to drop some knowledge on these idiots' asses, asking if they've considered how Alabama has a really good running back who will be there for another year. Noelle half-interrupts Coach to say that they already know about that; Smash doesn't think riding the bench a year will be a big deal. Then Coach wonders about the really good back-up running back Alabama also has, telling Smash he'd be looking at three years before he even sets foot on the field. He tells Smash he has to give himself the opportunity to be seen, and then tells him to be patient, look at the fine print, don't make any emotional decisions. Noelle solemnly declares that this advice "makes a lot of sense." Coach shoots her a priceless look and then asks Smash what his mother says. Smash is like, "My mom?" and Coach replies, "Yes, the woman who gave you birth." Smash says she doesn't know the difference between Alabama and Dillon Junior College; Coach says his last piece of advice is to listen to his mother, and then shoos them out the door.