Football field. Billy yells at Tinker, who's running slowly. Jess stands on the side fixing a helmet. Billy goes over and asks the ETA on the helmet for Tinker and she tells Billy that it isn't like Tinker isn't trying. Billy's like, "der der?" and Jess says "He's reacting to the snap count rather than watching the ball. He's half a second behind on every snap." Cut over to the play where we see this is exactly the case. Billy just sort of exhales and then hands her a crushed water cup: "Do something with that, would you?"
Buddy and Junior eat at a restaurant. Buddy tries to draw his kid out, but what gets drawn out is seriously hideous. Junior says he went by Tami's office and she's "really nice." He pauses, then continues, "Got a really nice rack." Buddy is obviously taken aback, but tries to redirect rather than stand up and shriek, "YOU TREAT THAT WOMAN WITH RESPECT SON" like I just did. Buddy's redirection probably won't hold much water in a gender studies course as he notes that there are a lot of hot girls his own age at the school, which is why Junior should consider going to the dance. Junior tells his dad that dances are kinda lame, and his dad agrees but reminds him, "That's where the girls are." Oh, to what depths we all fall when trying to connect with a sullen teenager.
Vince eats with his mother and father. His mom keeps trying to make happy small talk like they are a family. His dad starts chuckling and telling the story of the first dance he ever took her to. Vince gets up and leaves the table while his father and mother tell a story about how the car his dad borrowed broke down and they had to walk to the dance. His father marvels, "Best night of my life" as his mother looks at him with adoration. Vince, from the kitchen, with a misleadingly open expression, "Now those some good memories!" before he turns dark: "See I got a different memory. The more I look at this man, the more I remember him not being here. I remember taking care of my momma when she was sick and strung out." Vince reminds his father of his own memory of never getting wished happy birthday. "Pop what's my birthday?" His mom and dad hang their heads while his dad tries to make amends, lamely, by saying he knows he wasn't here but he thought about them a lot. "I'm here now. I want to make it better." Vince doesn't buy any of it and his father gets up to leave, as his mother stays behind, in tears.
Buddy washes up in the restroom, then heads back out to the table, which is empty. He picks up the check and inspects it before calling the waitress over to ask if she saw his credit card. She says no and then tells him, in response to his question, that Buddy, Jr. just went out the front. Buddy lumbers to the front door just in time to see his car tearing out of the parking lot, Buddy, Jr. presumably behind the wheel.
Commercials. Mindy and Billy stare out the window, watching Becky and her dad in the front yard. Mindy mutters that Becky's dad is a jerk and her stepmom is a "redneck bitch" and narrates, as the father hands Becky some money, that he's paying her off so he doesn't have to be her dad anymore. Billy says that he doesn't get Mindy's about-face on the topic of Becky. Mindy just says that Becky needs some role models and they have to be them. BUT! If Billy ever "accidentally" bumps into Becky in the shower, she'll stab him in the face. Billy tries to lean in and give Mindy a kiss but she's like "really now?" Becky comes in, blubbering. Her father says that because she isn't living with them, they are going to go back to Seattle. Mindy pops up and tells her that it's all fine, she can stay there. Becky blubbers that she will babysit and do dishes, but Mindy just hushes her with an embrace. Ole Sis! I'm sorry I ever doubted you. What a freaking heart of gold in this stripper!
Coach and Buddy drive around looking for Junior. Buddy has no idea where to go, he doesn't know the kid, he doesn't know if he has any friends. And then the kicker -- Buddy relates how the other day he was suggesting to his son that he play football and Junior was all like, "Uh, Dad, football is stupid!" Buddy relates how flabbergasted he is at this but Coach gets right to the point: "Can he play football?" Buddy says of course he can! He's a Garrity. "He loves football. He just doesn't know it yet." Preach, mister.
Over at the dance, teenagers grind on one another. The circle of life, you know. Tami and Laurel laugh at the dance moves on some of the other teachers. Luke catches sight of Becky and goes over to her. He's wearing a hilarious print shirt, which she compliments. He says that he found it in the 99 cent bin at the Goodwill and it fit like a glove. I'll say. I will have to apologize in advance, but I find Luke extremely hot in this scene. He keeps his delivery low and even, and how Becky keeps her own face from melting off in the face of it all is beyond me. He tells her that he was trying to impress her and then, looking straight at her, "You are so pretty." Then he asks if she heard about the whole TMU thing, but, because this isn't just about him and football (though his newfound confidence is the engine driving it) he leans in: "I gotta tell you something. You like me. And I'm gonna take you out sometime." Now, can you please just hold on just a minute while I fan myself? Stone fox, y'all. And, because he is apparently a master seducer, the boy knows how to leave before overstaying his welcome. As he walks away he tells her, "I'm coming for you, Sproles." And just like that, I am officially on board with Luke and Becky.
Vince and Jess sit off to the side, Jess trying to talk once again about his father, Vince refusing to engage. Vince tells her that he doesn't want her to work in the locker room anymore and then they're off. He says that he needs to take his team to State, and he can't do that if he keeps having to "check my boys" in the locker room. Jess is like, well don't check them anymore, he just needs to treat her like one of the boys. Vince complains that she keeps calling him "macho chismo" which, heh. She corrects him, "It's machismo" and then she laughs, telling him that everything has to be about him, that she's supposed to help him all summer but now can't be a part of the game in a way that is interesting to her. She tells him that maybe she's doing something she enjoys, something that will look good on her college applications. He just tells her that she looks great and gets up and leaves. Oh, if only we could all live in that heady, awesome place just above, the "stone fox" part of the relationship, rather than actually have to deal with figuring out how to make a life with another human being.
Outside, Epyck and a few guys are trying to get in to the dance, but aren't being allowed in. Tami goes to check out the yelling, and reminds Epyck that she's suspended and thus not allowed on school property. Epyck is pissed and yells at Tami, asking what her problem with her is. Tami tells her that she doesn't have a problem with her, but Epyck needs to pay attention to the rules. Epyck turns to leave, but makes sure to punch a few palm trees on her way out (not unlike when CT punched a cactus on the Real World Road Rules Challenge -- what, is this not a readily handy reference for you?). Tami watches her leave, obviously upset that all she can do for this girl is turn her away.
Julie wanders drunkenly up to Head T.A. Derek Bishop's apartment door. He opens it, listens to her slur a bit, and then grabs her, kisses her and pulls her inside.
Coach and Buddy find Buddy, Jr. coming out of a convenience store. When Buddy, Jr. sees them he takes off running, but Buddy has the power of fatherly wrath on his side and takes off after him like a freaking gazelle. Buddy drags his son down off the fence he's trying to climb as Coach watches the intense scene go down. Buddy pins his son to the ground, yelling at him about shaping up until Buddy, Jr. says "Who are you?" and Buddy replies "Your dad." The stare at each other, and Buddy sort of gruffly caresses the side of his son's face. "How can I help you, son?" Wow. They both have a lot of work to do.