It's morning, two days 'til the state semifinal and everyone's doin' how they do. For example, Riggins is doin' the hot older neighbor lady. Tami works on softening Julie's moving woes while Street tough-talks Saracen into better quarterbacking. Well "tough"-talks him, since it mainly involves him talking a lot about Oprah. And Coach is back to true form: sporting beleaguered hair.
When POW! BANG! CRASH! YOWZA! a train derails and wrecks our beautiful idyll, spilling toxic waste all over the place.
Dillon Panther home turf is declared Chernobyl, and Coach refuses to settle for the fancy digs suggested by both Buddy and the rival team, going sort of wild-eyed Kevin Costner on us. Buddy has been planting greasy C-notes in Matt Saracen's locker, and Coach reacts against this slick style by getting primal, building a football field out in a manure-caked cow pasture.
And when you build it, they do come. Mainly, it seems, because if you do not come to the football game, you get sexually assaulted. Or at least Tyra does when Landry's car trouble keeps him from meeting her at a fast food place to tutor her in algebra. But if that's one of the town's dirty secrets, so is the fantastic football game where we find Coach raging that this is "Our mud! Our dirt!" after a torrential downpour breaks out. The boys slip and slide, but Street's coaching keeps Matt surefooted, and he runs for a final touchdown, sending the boys on to state.
Also, some stuff about Lyla and Waverly.
We open with softly strumming guitars and soft morning light; apparently this episode is taking place in our collective unconscious because....we look at Neighbor Lady looking at Taylor Kitsch and "the gaze" all us feminists like talking about never felt so hot. He's asleep in her bed, she's standing in the doorway with a cup of coffee and Danielle Steel sex hair, and as he rouses they share a little smile.
Coach drives himself along a highway. Tami and Julie are at home, getting ready to leave the house for the day. Julie wants to know the probability of their possible move to Austin, and Tami, while sympathizing with her worried daughter, can only tell her to wait and see what happens. Back to Coach in the Taylor SUV, driving by a yard where he sees Street coaching a sweaty Matt Saracen. Matt, breathing heavily, says he's about to throw up, and Street snarks that if that's the case, he'll just go home and watch Oprah. When Matt protests, Street demands to know what's wrong with Oprah. Matt mutters in response. Coach stops his truck to watch the boys. Street rattles off some statistics about the team the Panthers will be playing in the semifinals: they're bigger and faster and are gonna feed Matt chili and turf if he doesn't whip himself into shape. Matt pulls himself up and gets back to practicing. I guess I wouldn't want to eat chili and turf, either.
Panther Football Radio informs us that though we thought Voodoo was headed back to Louisiana after we last saw him, he in fact got recruited by another Texas team -- the VERY TEAM the winner of the impending semifinal game will go on to meet at State. Coach looks annoyed as he pulls up near the Dillon stadium, which is mobbed by folks setting up concession stands and t-shirt shops, and Buddy Garrity overseeng the application of a big, gaudy advertisement for his car dealership on the side of some concrete. I already love this spirit of the season crap. Buddy Garrity as Snoopy. Coach Taylor, our Linus.
Inside the locker room, Matt reaches in his and finds an envelope stuffed with fifties. He looks around, panicked. Coach walks through and into his office where Mac, noshing on snacks with feet propped up, directs his attention to the TV where the coach of their next opponents blathers on. Coach snaps the TV off and then snaps Mac off, barking about whether Mac thinks the office is his living room with the snacks, et cetera. Buddy walks in -- apparently having just visited Lureen over at the Cut and Curl, seriously his bouffant is getting huge -- and is all smiles and "isn't this great?!" Coach snarls that it's like they're playing the Super Bowl, and then he tries to remark sarcastically on Buddy's advertisement, but the sarcasm goes undetected, probably partly because Buddy's ears might be clogged by Aqua Net. Hey, speaking of Aqua Net, where's Lady Mayor been lately?