Jason lies in bed when Lyla knocks on the door. She says she's brought "Dirty. Dirty. Dirty...quad porn," and then we cut to the television screen on which a librarian-looking woman lectures the viewer about precautions to take before engaging in sexual activity. I don't know what Lyla's been watching up until now, but I don't know that this tape merits the three "dirties" she gave it. If I were reviewing, I'd probably go with "institutional" or "dick-withering" over "dirty, dirty, dirty." Lyla is back in full-on Helper Bee mode, our least favorite mode for her to be in. Bring back the fuck-me boots, girl! When the word "masturbation" comes out of the Dorothy Hamill-looking lady on the screen, Jason speaks for us all and begs Lyla to turn the tape off. Lyla acknowledges that maybe this isn't the porn he was expecting, but that there's lots of useful stuff in the video. To illustrate her point, we cut back to the tape, where it appears that some frizzy-haired blonde woman is mounting Keith Hernandez in a wheelchair. Jason decides he's had enough and fumbles with the remote. Lyla whines at Jason for turning the tape off, and then proceeds to talk over their problems, assuring him that they'll get through this, and saying "a lot of couples have a lot of luck in the shower." I'm afraid this show is giving off the impression that becoming paralyzed gives teens a free pass to just have sex wherever they want. "Don't mind us, mom, we're just a mature couple with a bit of sexual dysfunction to work out. We'll wash the kitchen table down when we're done." Jason finally puts a stop to Lyla's "helpful" "suggestions" by blurting out that if she "want[s] to get laid so bad, call Riggins." Ouch.

Landry and Tim are at the Alamo Freeze. Landry is pasting up more flyers for his show that weekend and blithering on about Tim's journey into English literature. He asks Tim what he thinks about his band's name, and then says he originally wanted "Stigmatalingus" but got outvoted. Tim, typically laconic, says, "They're both crap, Landry." Landry pushes Of Mice and Men toward Tim and tells him that it's only a hundred pages, so he can breeze through it. Tim pushes the book back toward Landry, who sort of gasps and says "Oh my god. You can't read can you? You're one of those kids that just slipped through the cracks." Love it. Landry clearly watches a lot of television. Tim tells Landry that he can read, but that he just chooses not to.