Slammin Sammy takes us across town, noting that rankings are about to come out, and East Dillon's surprise win last week might get them ranked for the first time. Coach listens in his car, Buddy oversees signage being put up for his new bar and grill (?!). In the East Dillon locker room, the assistant coaches are all abuzz like pretty princesses looking through the newspapers, getting excited about possibly getting ranked. Coach just looks at them like the dopes that they are and asks whether the field has gotten chalked yet.
Cut over to East Dillon cafeteria and Rally Girl bedlam. Tinker presides over a madly cheering crowd, pulling jerseys from one of those big metal lottery rolling cage things. Each jersey is given to a girl, who will be that player's "Rally Girl." Vince's jersey goes to a tremendously porn-mouthed girl wearing a belly sweater, short shorts, and heels, as you do for a day of high school. Vince hugs her and tells her that she can't keep the jersey; he takes it and brings it over to Jess who gives him a "That's right' kind of grin as he does so. Luke watches intently as Becky gets dragged up front to receive a jersey. Tinker shouts into the microphone when his jersey goes to her. Becky just sort of hangs her head and laughs, Luke looks on with clear developing plot line potential.
Tami, shirt dress and cowboy boots, struts out front of the school to find Epic, which is apparently spelled Epyck, sitting on a picnic table smoking. Tami reminds her that there's no smoking on school property, but Epyck one-ups her, reminding her that everyone, EVEN BABIES, smokes in Texas. Tami rolls with it, "Well, even babies can't smoke on school property." Those damn smoking babies. Tami and Epyck butt heads for a while more, Tami quietly introduces herself as the new guidance counselor who's going to help her with her grades, with coming to her counseling appointments, and with not smoking on school property. Epyck stubs out her cigarette, says "Okay," and saunters off towards the road. "School's this way, Epyck," Tami lamely notes.
Coach calls Vince into his office, asks him what day it is. Well, it's September 1, and Coach informs Vince that's the first day of NCAA contact period for junior athletes. Coach tosses a bunch of envelopes in Vince's direction-- Georgia, UT, Alabama, USC. Vince can barely keep his face screwed on right, he's so excited. "These are for me?" Coach, no nonsense, directs him out of the office but as the boy leaves, lets one bit of coachly humanity through: "Pretty cool, huh?"