Julie sits in lecture while Mark Twain drones on and on about the Alamo. He wraps up his lecture and leaves the stage to "Head TA Derek Bishop." I've never heard of a "Head TA" before, but Derek Bishop charms me right out of that complaint by using cool lingo just like Poochie, words like "deets" instead of "details." The college kids eat it right up, because they are apparently actually complete suckers. Derek tells them about the annual History Department Mixer and jokes about "old people with halitosis" which gets a big laugh from the lecture hall. Julie is clearly enamored, though. And I guess if I could go back and get a clear look at the TAs I got enamored with in college, I'd probably be pretty embarrassed about my bad taste. He tells them to form their study groups and dismisses class. Julie kind of lurks around, watching everyone else immediately group up. She approaches one galoot, but he tells her that he's just a frat pledge taking notes for one of his brothers. She looks around, somewhat lost. Ah, education.

Speaking of the failures of the American educational system, Becky hangs around the Playgirl Ranch in short terry shorts making cookies, but totally failing. Billy comes in and she asks his advice about doubling the recipe, which she doesn't think she did right. Billy's advice? "You have to double all the ingredients." Becky, "Oh, goodness me! I didn't know!!!" and bluebirds twirl and tweet around her little head. Mindy comes out in her ratty t-shirt and sweats and watches all this leaning and chirping that is going on in the kitchen. Mindy calls Billy outside with her, and continues on her journey to become America's Next Top Harpy. She tells Billy she doesn't like it, she doesn't like Becky in her short shorts looking all cute and Billy being all "milk in the recipe" and it's all bigger than Billy, "it's nature, and there's a fox in my henhouse and I don't like it." Billy reminds her of Tim's solemn vow to Becky that his family shall be her family and begat begat begat.

Vince goes through his letters of intent when his mother comes home from work. Before he can tell her all about it, she starts moaning about her troubles at work and doing a lot of sighing. He goes over and shows her all his letters and says "Momma, they want me. Where do you want to live? The city? Beach? Florida? California? I'm going to take care of you, momma." Yes, because no career is more of a sure thing than college and professional sports.