Commercials. History Department Mixer at UT. Julie wanders around all lonely like until she hears someone shouting football type shouts at a television playing a game. And it's cool-guy Derek Bishop, hanging out all alone in a weird little TV cubbie area, yelping while watching a rerun of an old football game on ESPN. Oh, this guy is like THE PINNACLE, don't you think? With his button-downs and graduate student indigentness and ridiculous enthusiasm while watching a game he already knows the outcome of? Good lord, get this girl to the English Department! There's at least interesting eyewear over there.

Anyway, Julie sort of leans against the doorway and says "Classic game. 36 throwback?" Derek barely looks at her when he says that yes, it is classic, but there's no throwback here. Julie's like, no, there's a throwback here. He tells her that she's wrong and they chat a bit. She tells him that her dad's a high school football coach, and Derek repeats, "Yeah, there's no throwback in this game." Julie repeats, "There is a throwback" and walks off. And because Derek is the COOLEST, he yells after the 19-year-old girl, "You're wrong!!!!"

Girls' bathroom at East Dillon. Porn Mouth is looking in the mirror wondering how to make her O-face even sluttier. Jess comes in and asks her whether she doesn't think that putting her panties in a locker of a boy she barely knows is demeaning. Jess wonders what it says about her that she would do such a thing and Porn Mouth replies, in her best Jerry Springer argumentative mode, "It means I'm going to have your man within two weeks." Porn Mouth tries to leave but Jess blocks her way and it quickly devolves right into Porn Mouth's audience's favor: hair-pulling girl fight! In a high school bathroom nonetheless! Is Ron Jeremy behind this?

Cut to Jess in Tami Taylor's office. Tami is like, "Seriously?" Jess starts in on who started it, but Tami cuts her off. Jess explains that it's the stupid rally girl stuff "cuz I think it's demeaning for her to put her panties in my boyfriend's locker" and Tami makes what is, to me, the single misstep of her entire televisual life here, she just shakes her head and says "It's just part of Texas football." Jess gets a little quiet and tells Tami, "The thing is, I'm someone who loves Texas football." She explains that her father played, her brothers play, she enjoys helping Vince get better at the game. "I love the game, I understand it." Yes to Jess! Tami tells her that she'll come up with some way for Jess to work this offense off, and she won't be fighting again.