Crazy teen party again, this time with beer funneling! Porn Mouth gets it done, which is no surprise. She tries to get Becky to go but Becky says that she doesn't "do beer." Porn Mouth does pretty much anything, it's clear. Luke, over with Vince and Jess, is drunk, which is just the way I like him. Vince exposits that none of them are drinking in preparation for the game, but Luke tells him that he talked to Coach and is suspended for the game. Porn Mouth comes over to give Vince a kiss -- since she won at beer funneling and all, but he demurs. She asks Jess if she has a problem, and Jess decides that the best way to deal with this situation is to go beat Porn Mouth's ass at funneling beers. Sometimes, I just love the way teenagers think. Jess pounds the beer, kind of reeling back with very frightening Poltergeist eyes when she's done.
Cut to the adult's own form of happy hour, which has fewer funnels but just as much bitchery. Tami can't really find any conversation to get into as everyone around her is paired up and chatting and not acting warmly toward her. Finally someone spills a drink all over her lap. She pops up and says that she does need to head home anyway to the baby, and how SAD is it to watch Tami freaking Taylor feel awkward and outcast? Out in the parking lot she mutters to herself when Laurel comes running up and makes a complete 180 in her attitude. Laurel tells her that it will get easier, that it's always hard to be new at a table full of cynics. Tami just depressingly notes that it's all fine, and she's just trying to help the kids and just needs a little support. Laurel reaches out, saying that she'll go ahead and volunteer for the after-school program. And I just realized here that I have NOT been on Tami's side, only because I am a put-upon educator as well and have felt totally bristly toward Tami coming in and telling me I need to put in more hours when already there are NOT enough hours in the day for Twitter and Facebook, eff those at-risk kids! Okay, so I've processed that and will now be moving on. Tami continues muttering to herself in the parking lot, only now it's all happy, cute, mom mutters, "Well, good!"
Back at crazy teen sex beer romp, Porn Mouth is still at it while Vince holds Jess's hair as she vomits. What a good boyfriend! There's very little that can top the loving act of holding your friend or partner's hair as she vomits. Pure love right there, right? They sit on the ground, inches away from the vomit, Jess drunkenly tells Vince that she doesn't want him to think this has anything to do with Porn Mouth. He says that he thinks it has a lot to do with her. Jess tells him that she just misses him, and Vince tells her he doesn't know what she means. She explains that she misses being with him and working on football together, that now he has Coach and she's supposed to be a rally girl. Damn, girl. And we thought Title IX would help things.