Tyra and Lyla stare at the gaping wasteland of emptiness that is the Pantherama volunteer list, and Tyra gets that scary look in her eyes, and drags Lyla into the men's locker room. Smart girl. She tells them all to shut up, and asks Lyla why they're there. "We're here because nobody signed up for Pantherama," Lyla shouts, loving it, because she's awesome and strong, but is also comfortable with following somebody's lead, which is rare, and one of the reasons Lyla's my favorite character after Street. She has humility. Tyra grows to three times her normal size, all, "NOBODY!" She tells them that tradition dictates that the players provide the entertainment, which makes sense because all Pantherama is, is the boys putting on a big stupid show. "Listen up, ladies! Lyla and I have a job to do, so let's make this easy on everybody." She grabs a hot freshman and gives him the signup sheet. "We're going to be spending...a lot of time with, um, what's your name?" His name is Carter, and he now has the biggest boner in all the world. She runs her hand across his back and the boys all start hooting like crazy jackals. I wish Tyra were president of the United States, she would get everything done so fast. "Lyla and I are gonna be spending a whole week with you. Anybody else?" The insane group lunge for the signup sheet is so intense and violent that Tyra barely gets out of there alive. Lyla stares at Tyra and falls in love with her for like the sixth time.

Noah From Pedophiladelphia is like, "This is a good article. Cut it down by 500 words." Julie points out that this is half the piece, and he gives the awesome answer, "Find the right half." She protests that she was supposed to show range, and he reads her first sentence, which includes both "blustery" and "multiloquous," a word I've never even heard, but then Noah says something so weird it's like Martian to me, about how you should not use "ten-dollar words" when a "nickel word" would suffice. What? You should sacrifice multiloquicity for simple perspicacity? Is he, in addition to being a pervert, a formicating drug user? You should always use the longest words and most torturous syntax possible, so that people will think you're smart. That's just common noûs. Noah offers that she could stand to lose the three angry paragraphs about Rally Girls (see?), and she's like, "But you said it was good!" It is, he says, but holds forth a beautiful epigram I've not heard before: "Good is the enemy of great." That's nice. That's Jason Street talk right there. "The less a reporter says, the more she hears." She ribs him about his journalistic career, and he's like, "Um, before I started boffing high school students I did Journalism at Columbia and then a year at the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel." Okay then! They are edging up on breezy-flirty as he tells her again to cut it down. Dude, if you're after getting' the honey, then you don't go killing all the bees! We've been through this!