Cut a few tables over and all of a sudden we're, sonically at least, in a coffehouse in Silverlake in the '90s, Beck's "Debra" playing in the background. Why is the music three tables over so different? Maybe Smash creates a hip-hop forcefield around him so that everywhere he goes, he brings a little soul? Beck might be mad at me for implying he has no soul. Little man wants so badly to have soul. So Landry and Saracen are discussing whether to go talk to a girl. Turns out, the girl Landry wants to talk to is the coach's daughter, who is sitting at a table, gasp! reading, gasp! a book. They sort of loom over toward her and when she looks up and asks "Yes?" Landry just stutters, "I'm in your English class." Why are they acting like they've never seen each other before? Coach's daughter -- Julie -- is very cute (with blunt-cut bangs the likes of which I have coveted for years) in a "less-tarty version of Elisha Cuthbert" sort of way. Landry's plan isn't working very well as she replies to his suggestion that they sit together and talk about Moby-Dick by asking them if they are football players. Again, how big is this school? My high school had like 2000 kids in it, and I would've known which kids were on the football team and which weren't, and I was into poetry writing back then for god's sake. Saracen stutters, torn between talking about being on the football team (surely a form of currency in this town) and trying to assure her that he's really not that much on the football team. They don't fool her, and she basically just tells them to shoo.
Back on The Street Show, Lyla is still attempting to perform the world's first conjoined-twin attachment surgery as she tells the cameras that her little schmoopy handles the pressure so well. I cannot express to you how fucked Minka Kelly's accent is. Is she from Boston? Or like, Prague? Or is Marlee Matlin her speech coach? Wait, was that ruthless? I'm afraid it might have been. Remember when all I wanted to write about was the heartbreaking beauty of a grandmother's art-directed foot? Should I go back to that? Or do you prefer the deaf people jokes? ["I believe the pull quote on this page will declare my preference just fine." -- Joe R]
While Lyla continues to make me a bad person, I find that I have good company in Tyra, who is eavesdropping on Lyla's schmoopiness and echoing her quite cleverly, "Oh, really? How interesting. That is so interesting, really. I'd be hard pressed to remember anything in my entire damn life that's ever been so damn interesting." Beat. "Whore." Awesome. Tyra gets up and stalks over to Smash's table, all bare-bellied and low-cut topped. She scoots into his booth, asks for a bite of his burger, and he says "Baby you can get a bite of anything you want to." Tyra takes a big, hearty bite of that burger, and the whole thing is pretty sexy in a slutty joie de vivrePrevious 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19Next