Tim and Ferret Guy cruise around in his truck, keepin' on keepin' on. Ferret Guy expounds on how Roadhouse is the best action movie of the eighties, maybe the best movie of all time. He sets Tim up nicely, saying that the movie has all the key ingredients. Tim fills in the blanks, "town in need, man searching for his soul" and Ferret Guy takes over like a regular Mo Rocca, "hot sex, fisticuffs." Now Tim: "Two words..." and then Ferret Guy: "Patrick..." and Tim: "...Swayze." Okay, maybe this rapport is too clever by half, but they get Best Week Ever in Dillon, right? They pull up in front of a store, and Ferret Guy instructs Tim to go in and get a bunch of cold medicine for him. Tim asks blankly what he needs with cold medicine at midnight, and now I'm questioning my assertion about Dillon's access to basic cable programming because HELLO!! Cold medicine? RED ALERT! RED ALERT! Meth epidemic! True Life Story!
Matt continues wandering around his house staring at Car-low-ta. I guess that's one way to seal the deal. The Jordan Catalano Way, we could call it. She tries to walk away but he grabs her hand and pronounces her name in that weird Spanish 101 way he has. He leans in and kisses her. She pulls away. He goes for it again and so does she. But a knock at the door ruins the moment. Lauren bounces in with cookies and her weird, back-combed Gidget hair. She greets Carlotta insipidly, and then suggests that she and Matt watch TV.
Tami comes in quietly. Coach tells her that Grace cried all night and projectile pooped across the room. Tami must be blind because she doesn't see all the red flags Coach's hair is waving about. She continues on, saying that Glenn won a hundred dollars and they went out for a beer afterward. Coach smiles tightly and asks sarcastically, "Hmm, you and Glen have a good time?" Tami looks fake surprised and asks her husband if he's jealous of Glen. She is playing dumb games here, because she knows his feelings, and anyone who wasn't willfully ignoring their partner's body language would know exactly what Coach is thinking here. And he lets her have it. He tells her that he doesn't like her "yukkin' it up" with Glen. Tami looks at her husband pityingly. He tells her that he doesn't like coming into her office and seeing Glen laying around, not even making an effort to sit up when Coach comes in. He thinks it's disrespectful to him and to the family. Tami is pissed and asks whether he thinks it's disrespectful to God. Coach tells her that it "undermines us." Tami continues to find what he's saying ridiculous. And it is ridiculous. But people feel ridiculous things all the time and Tami isn't even trying to listen. This is the first Taylor fight where they are both equally wrong. When Coach tells her he has just one more thing to say and that is that she needs to pay more attention to her family Tami's mouth drops open and asks him how he dare say that to her. Then she instructs him to sleep on the couch, so she can get a good night's sleep and pay more attention to her family that night. She walks off and, watching Coach watching, I'm left with this uncomfortable feeling, like when you are in the middle of a fight with your significant other and you know it is building and building into something really big and you look behind you to see if there is some way to get back to how it was before but there isn't, the road or path or whatever is just gone and you are stuck where you are, going forward. Now that is a real fight.