Friday Night Lights

Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: B | 4 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Once You're A Jet

Locker room. The Dillon Panthers are for some reason surprised to find that their stuff has been vandalized again -- this time the Reds have pissed on everything. They spend a lot of time being outraged until Tim marches into the weight room and confronts the Reds. Coach Dickie instructs Tim to hit the showers, but he doesn't back down. One of the Larrabee Genetic Freak Mouth-Breathers says, "Sorry, dooood, I couldn't hold it." Dickie tells Tim to hit the showers again, but Tim goes after the mouth-breather. Coach Dickie rips Tim off his player and throws him to the ground, standing over the boy and yelling at him. Eric Taylor comes out of nowhere and grabs Dickie by the collar and shoves him against the wall and seethes, "If you ever touch one of my players again you'll never coach football again." And then he adds a clause about personally kicking Donald Dickers's (seriously, that's his full name!) ass. The onlooking Dillon Panthers start to laugh at Dickie, but Eric shuts them up and sends them outside to the bleachers. We end on Dickie shouting at his own team, "What are y'all looking at?"

Coach and Julie are loving the new coffeemaker, thanking Shelly and fawning on about it. Shelly gives Tami a pointed look. Tim comes in, and Shelly excuses herself so as "not to do anything inappropriate." Tami asks what everyone wants for dinner before the dance. Tim and Julie inform her that they aren't going. Coach wants lasagna. Tami declares that if they're not going to the dance, then they'll just go out to eat. Julie asks if Tim is ready to go to school, and he tells her to give him a minute. She leaves, her mother following, while Coach stands around muttering about lasagna. Tim takes the moment to thank Coach for helping him out with Dickie. He extends his hand and Coach shakes it, seemingly surprised at such an upstanding gesture.

Cut kind of abruptly to a party where Julie sits with Landry playing quarters. She says relationships suck, and Landry reminds her that she's the one who broke up with Matt. She tells him that it was complicated and then asks Landry if he's still hung up on Tyra. He doesn't really respond, so Julie drunkenly starts blabbering about letting people go, letting them be who they want to be, make out with who they want to make out with. Landry tells her that when you really care about somebody, you don't just give up. He thinks about this for a minute and then gets up to leave, muttering about not giving up.

An all-purpose boy comes in and sits next to Julie. A word of clarification about my terminology. The "all-purpose boy" is the boy who appeals to straight women and gay men with his beautiful long lashes and lithe physique; and to straight men and gay women who mistake him for a cute pixie-haired woman. All-purpose, everybody wins! Julie slurs "I know you!" at him, and he tells her that she does know him, from English lit. She invites him to play quarters with her.

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Friday Night Lights

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