Guitars of Little Orphan Timmy as we fade in on Timmy and Daddyshack sitting in a backyard in two old recliners set around a little campfire. They're under a big tree strung with colored Christmas lights, and the backyard is fenced in with aluminum fencing. The whole setting is very Austin, even though I suppose they're supposed to be in Corpus Christi. They're talking about a day a long time ago when Daddyshack took Tim and Jason water skiing. Daddyshack says that Jason is good people, and he's sorry about what happened to him. As for Tim, well, we don't know what the hell his relationship with Jason is any more. Daddyshack asks Tim about Billy, and Tim tells his father that Billy says "hi." Daddyshack: "Did he really?" Tim: "No. Not at all, really." They laugh. Daddyshack, reaching into his back pocket, says he doesn't blame Billy for hating him. He tosses some chaw in his mouth -- retch -- and continues on, saying Billy saw some things that he's not proud of. Tim bursts Daddyshack's false confession bubble by reminding the no-good louse, "Dad, I was ten, I wasn't blind." Changing the subject, Daddyshack asks Tim if he called his coach about missing practice, which Tim did, to the displeasure of one Eric "Crankypants" Taylor. But Tim says it's worth it, and then the boys start talking Parcells, the Cowboys, and the Saints and we fade out.
Raggedy-ass golf course, under grey skies again. Tim and Daddyshack are teeing off with one another, which will certainly end up in them getting teed off at one another. Tim says they should up the ante -- because Daddyshack is making a big deal about giving his son six extra strokes. The bet is, if Tim wins, Daddyshack will come to Dillon for the game of Friday. If Daddyshack wins, Tim won't tell Velveeta lady where he's living. They start the game, with Tim slicing his ball pretty badly. His dad, always gracious: "Long and wrong. Did you hit a car?" And then when Tim goes to start over, he gives Little Orphan Timmy a hard time AND manages to insult women golfers and hot dog purveyors everywhere as he tells him "This ain't the LPGA, ya weenie, there ain't no mulligans."
Football field. Smash is getting beat up some more on the field. In fact, he's doing things correctly, hitting the right breaks, doing the plays that are called, but still Coach calls him over and yells at him for not looking like he's playing to win. Smash, under his breath, says "I was just doing what I was told," which sets Coach off big time, and he sends Smash to the end zone to do 20 suicides. Geeeezzz, man.