Brave New World

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If You Try to Knock Me You’ll Get Mocked
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

We're at the Clane Center, some sort of sterile new office building, all sleek lines and escalators (the prominence of the handrail in one shot providing a little foreshadowing) and ad-free spaces -- well, except for the product-placed phone showing us all just how easy it is to pay with your cellphone when you're getting a café mocha one percent, no whip, half-caf, half-fat whatever from the barista at the coffee stand in the lobby while a Muzak version of Billy Idol's "Eyes Without a Face" plays. (Is it me or does it sound pretty great?) This is what Aldous Huxley had in mind. And then he gets charged nearly five bucks, because fuck you, coffee drinker. I think the idea is that the transaction took less time then it takes to make the coffee, but that has... always been true with every method of payment ever?

Anyway, this guy Neal takes his coffee and heads down the escalator with his free hand holding the handrail, as everyone here seems to be doing a level of escalator-safety-regulation compliance I have never seen anywhere. But don't get me started on escalators and the people who get on and then just stand there with dozens of empty steps in front of them. At least in larger cities people have gotten used to the stand-to-one-side-while-others-pass-you philosophy, whereas in St. John's people behave as though their legs are being held in place the second they step on.

ANYWAY, Neal's heading outside when he drops his coffee and appears to be in some sort of distress. He clutches his stomach and then drops to the ground, smoke coming from his mouth, which is blackening. All around him, other people start doing the same thing. "What's happening to them?" says a horrified passerby and another woman says, "I think when they move, they die. Nobody move." And the camera pulls back to show us smoldering bodies littering the concrete among a half-dozen people now playing a life-and-death game of freeze tag.

After the opening credits, Peter and Olivia are being all domestic and cutesy and looking for a place together, with Olivia offering up her opinions on various neighborhoods or suburbs or streets or whatever that I hope meant something to people in the Boston area, because I don't know what's so bad about Wayburn that Olivia would go there "only if I'm dead".

Peter finds a place on Lexington with three beds, central heat and air and a dog run and then starts talking about the Labrador he had when he was growing up. Olivia's more interested in find out if the place has a nursery, like Olivia, you turn one of the BEDROOMS into a nursery. Peter, though, is a little surprised. "Nursery?" he asks and Olivia says, deadly serious, "Nursery." Peter smiles and then they start making out, but I think I'd probably ask for a little clarification, like, "Hold on, are you saying we'll need one far in the future or you want us to start needing one soon or WE NEED ONE IN NINE MONTHS?" That kind of thing.

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