In Worcester, Mass., some schlub is sleeping the day away, until the croak of some old woman gets through his comatose state. "Joseph! You're going to be late!" she rasps. This Joseph person rouses and grabs hold of the alarm clock on the night table. It's flashing 12:00, so he picks up his watch, which shows five after three. He's missing Judge Judy! He irritatedly kicks off the covers and sits up. Taking a thermometer from the table, he takes his temperature and heart rate, and jots them down in a sloppy table scrawled in a notepad.

Dressed, he walks by the old lady who was barking at him earlier, and seeing him gets her croaking again, this time for him to run a comb through his hair, for god's sake. "Dara's son, he always takes care of his appearance!" He doesn't say anything, and mentally reminds himself to rent Throw Momma From the Train. Again.

At work, there's an ad clipping tucked into the magnetic mirror in his locker. I think we're supposed to notice the "UNLOCK YOUR HIDDEN POTENTIAL" ad with its 1-800 number, but I can't help but notice the ad looking for a "Sexy Pin-Up Type Wanted for Receptionist Position." "Pin-Up Type"? So the strange phenomena on this episode is going to be the ability to clip ads from newspapers in the 1950s! Awesome!

Joseph's now in his uniform, which is really just a rugby shirt with a "Bicoastal Parcel" patch on it. Despite the fact he's clearly the losingest loser who ever losered, he's smiling. He gets out his cellphone and starts looking at pictures of some dark-haired woman on a telephone.

He's interrupted by Yelly Boss, who snaps at "Meager." "It's Mee-GAR," corrects Joseph. "Late again and you're making personal calls?" says the boss, snatching Joseph's phone. He flips through the photos and asks if Joseph is stalking this girl. Joseph takes the phone back and tries to go back to work, but his electronic tablet tracker thingy starts smoking, which is apparently the second time this week. "Your sweep's leaving, Meegar. Get on it, or get another gig," says the boss, who can head right back to Douchebag Boss Central Casting for all I care. I also don't know what a "sweep" is in this context.

On the plus side, we get to listen to REO Speedwagon cheese out "Can't Fight This Feeling" as we pan around Boston. Wouldn't Boston's "More Than A Feeling" be a better choice? Well, it's Joseph's choice; that's what he's listening to as he carries a package into an office building's reception area.

He looks nervous, and it's because the object of his phone stalking is the receptionist. He starts making small talk and she does the "one moment" finger point while tilting her head to show she's in the middle of a call, because she's got one of those little headsets that make me pretend someone is a cyborg. Looking around her desk area, he spots some Girl Guide patches pinned to the wall. She wraps up the call and signs for the package, asking if he doesn't usually have a tablet thing, and he nervously laughs and manages not to say, "It went on the fritz after my boss chewed me out for looking at stalker photos of you."