Fringe
Safe

Episode Report Card
Daniel: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Overdrawn at the Memory Bank

A gang of black-clad desperadoes efficiently makes its way through the Philadelphia Mutual Savings Bank, disarming the security cameras and alarms. Unfortunately, there's no laser grid criss-crossing the floor, which would have the benefit of providing more security AND looking cool. The gang's led by Loeb, so anyone who was watching a couple of episodes ago probably knows what to expect. They stop outside the ginormous safe and start setting up tripods and cameras and wires and cables -- more equipment than your average weekend summer rock festival. And then suddenly they're "good to go" and somebody taps some keys on a computer and the curtain thing they've attached to the side of the safe starts humming and vibrating. Apparently, the oscillations are good, and then one of the computer guys says he's "ready to open the grid," and then the "resonance is set." "Give me the grid," says Loeb, and two of his cronies pull the curtain apart from either side and tie it, leaving a diamond-shaped space in the middle. Someone shoots a gun that sends a cable flying through the wall, and then draws taut. "Magnet firm," says someone. Loeb and a couple of other dudes pull hoods up over their heads and put on goggles. He asks how much time they have, and some other guy says, "Confirming density and thickness." That's what she said! Then he says, "A minute forty-one." That's what sh--...

Anyway, Loeb and his two co-thieves crawl through the wall along the cable, coming out of the wall like they're coming out of a milk bath. Inside are rows and rows of safe-deposit boxes. Loeb's looking for 610, and eventually finds it (it was between 609 and 611), and they blast it open, freeing a metal box. "Thirty-five seconds," says Capt. Timekeeper. They attach the metal box to the cable and one of the guys slides it through. On the other side, he says, and slides it through the wall. On the other side, he checks his watch. "They better move or they're not going to make it," he says, even though I'm sure the original 1:41 passed ages ago. Inside, Lugo can't get the magnetized cable to disengage from the wall. "You go, I'm right behind you," he tells Loeb, who goes through to the other side. It's been like ten minutes at this point, but buddy says, "Fifteen seconds, what the hell's he doing?" Loeb tells them he's stuck. "He can't leave that in there. We're screwed if he does," says the guy. Well, yeah, THAT'S WHY HE'S STILL IN THERE. He finally pulls the cable free. "We got slack," says the dudes on the other side, and now it's a countdown as if the most recent fifteen seconds didn't run out like a minute ago. The other guys pull Lugo through, but he only makes it halfway before there's a sound like rubber being stretched and he cries out, caught in the wall. He looks up at Loeb, who shakes his head. "Grab everything. Let's go," says Loeb to the others, and they start to pack up. And about as emotionally as the way you dump water on your campfire embers, Loeb pulls out a gun and shoots a protesting Lugo in the head. I bet he longs for the moment when they were only worried about leaving a cable in the wall. "Let's go," he says. And the other guys aren't too quick to react, so he has to shout it. What are you going to do, shoot them? Oh, yes, quite possibly. Never mind.

After the opening credits and commercial break, the Fringe gang is walking up the steps into the bank, with Peter saying to Olivia, "What do you mean, you don't have one? Everybody's got one. Even I've got one," and Walter guesses that he's talking about a spleen, so you can only imagine that Peter makes a snide comment about his father, and how Walter doesn't just erupt every thirty seconds or so is beyond me, but Walter now thinks Olivia has asplenia, which is a rare genetic condition in which one is born spleen-less, and this is by far more times that I've heard the word "spleen" used than in my entire life up until now, and anyway Peter's talking about a "best friend," which is what Olivia says she doesn't have. She asks if a sister counts. "Of course a sister doesn't count," says Peter, although I really think a sister could count, and maybe Peter would know that if had a sister. Or maybe he has one. Or maybe he had one, and Walter injected her with some substance during a crazy experiment and she's actually now pure electricity and bottled in a jar. Olivia says she's always just enjoyed being on her own: "Even when I was at boarding school, they used to call me 'Han.'" "As in 'Solo'? That's cute. At least you had a nickname," says Peter. Oh, Peter. "Rent boy" is a kind of nickname too, Peter.

As usual, Broyles is already there to get a head start on the glowering. He's on his cellphone, asking someone to call him as soon as possible. It's sort of funny that they were talking about Han Solo, because the guy coming out of the wall kind of looks like when Han Solo was frozen in carbonite. Walter is as usual fascinated by the grisly death scene before him. Broyles says a security guard was also killed, and the surveillance cameras were disabled.

"This incident may be related to a recent series of bank robberies. This would be the third," he says, and I hate to tell Broyles that "two" is hardly a "series." Anyway, the other robberies were in Cleveland and Baltimore. "I was in Baltimore. I remember a woman with particularly large breasts," he says. Man, I wish I were crazy and could just go around spouting stuff. I'd just, you know, randomly wander into restaurants and start yelling about how long it takes to get some freakin' nachos.

In each robbery, a single oversized safe deposit box has been taken, all without so much as a breach of the vault, Broyles tells them. He's got a call in to the bank manager (surely it should be managers?) to trace the boxes: "The who, what and why ... that's you." But you know who's already got the "who"? Olivia. As Walter examines the guy's face, Olivia says she knows him. "Let me guess. He's your best friend," says Peter, but Olivia's being serious. "You knew this man? My condolences," says Walter, right after noting that they're going to have to cut him -- or pieces of him -- out of the wall. Olivia says the guy's name is Raul Lugo, and he was in her first unit in the marines. And she remembers more: "He's from Jersey. He's married. His wife's named Susan. He plays baseball. He lives in Edison. He used to work on the docks. Union's been on strike. He's down on his luck. It's tough. Oooh, so tough." Olivia says she's been to his house. Well, she should have suspected something wasn't right when it turns out the house has no doors.

Back at Loeb's gang's hideout, one of the crew members is bitching about leaving Lugo behind: "Bullet in the head or no, leaving a guy halfway stuck in the wall wasn't the most professional move." Loeb says he thought it was a nice touch. "We had another grid. We should have tried to get him out," says the guy. Loeb ignores this to ask the guy examining the box how he's getting along. "Crappy. Self-sealing bolts, magnetic tumblers, some kind of old-school chromo-alloy. Someone really didn't want this opened," he says. He figures it'll take a couple of hours to get it open. Mitchell turns back to Mr. Leaving A Corpse Halfway Through a Wall Is a Bad Idea and says they've got one more box to go: "If your bitching about Raul is your way of saying you want out, then go. Otherwise, inject yourself and shut your mouth." Tsk! Someone needs work on his managerial motivation skills!

Over now to Science Prison in Germany, where David Jones awaits his lawyer, who looks like the child of Clive Owen and Mr. Bean. No, I don't know how that would work. "Mr. Kohl. Please come in," he says, practically hissing.

So we're at a fake big-box hardware store called Tool Rack because Peter and Walter need some tools for removing people from safe walls. Walter's giddy at the size of the place, and calls it unprecedented. Peter says, "Actually, it's completely precedented. There are stores like this everywhere, W

1 2 3 4 5 6 7Next

Fringe

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP