Fringe

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B+ | 1328 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Am I Hot or Nazi?
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

I am aware that it's resolutely unfair to judge a show based solely on the last thirty seconds and a preview for the next week's episode that I see every week as I record the show that comes directly after it, but I'm going to do it anyway: week in, week out, Bones looks absolutely awful. Anyone want to make a case in its defense? Every week with this shit! Emily Deschanel and David Boreanaz seem like perfectly lovely (not to mention inhumanly good-looking) people, but it's really starting to get to me. I will say this, though: I find it inexplicably amusing -- nay, almost endearing -- when a show is named simply after the main character, particularly if it's a nickname or not an obvious name. Your House, your Bones. I think from now on I'm just going to refer to Olivia as "Fringe."

The good folks at Cake Palace (with the slogan "Let them eat cake") unload a three-tiered wedding cake in the driveway of a nice home in Brookline, Mass. And then we get some cheesy home video footage of wedding preparations, the guests arriving, etc. And I don't mean "cheesy" in the way that all weddings are a little cheesy. This was more like cheesy if you were watching Beverly Hills 90210, like not even the remake or the reboot or whatever stupid term is being used. A woman walks in, escorting an elderly Nana, telling her: "Nana, take it easy! There's no hurry!" and Nana proudly says, in accented English, "You take it easy! This my regular speed!" and the first woman looks into the camera with a condescending, "Oh, Nana, you'll bury us all" smile on her face. And then the groom's mother is busting in on the bride, with the videographer in tow, so David can see her in the dress before the wedding but without the bad luck, and isn't the point of the superstition supposed to be that the first time the groom sees her in the wedding dress is supposed to be as she's coming down the aisle? Like is Mom going to take the footage back to her son to make sure everything checks out? "Yeah, she looks good. Guess it's on!"

Anyway, the bride thanks her future mother-in-law "for everything," and the mother-in-law says she's so thrilled that Shelley is joining the family and "David is lucky to have you" and then they hug and Mrs. Staller gets all weepy and wants the videographer to stop shooting, and maybe while he's taking a break from documenting everything he can take something to steady his spastic hands so the camera isn't shaking so badly.

So then there's some ShakiCam action of the groom having trouble breathing while one of the groomsmen grabs a bottle of whiskey and gets ready to pour -- to calm him down.

Fringe

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