King's Landing! Specifically, Varys's chambers! Tyrion would like to speak "in confidence" with Varys to see if he knows who might have been trying to kill Tyrion at Blackwater. Besides Stannis's army, I mean. Varys is using a crowbar to open a large crate, which will provide the background action during this scene. See, people don't just have sex on this show! Sometimes they open boxes! Tyrion wonders if Varys knows of Cersei's intentions. He has guesses, of course, but Varys has no proof, only whispers. And then he asks Tyrion if he'd like to hear the story of how he was cut. That seems like a weird topic of conversation, but Tyrion did bring it up a lot last season. Varys begins, "As a boy, I traveled with a troupe of actors." And then a man made his master an offer. Varys assumed he was going to be raped, but it was much weirder. He'd been bought by a sorcerer, who gave Varys a potion that immobilized him. Then he cut off his manly business with a big hooked knife and burned them. Huh. Sorcerers have weird hobbies. Anyway, the point is that the flame burned blue and a spooky voice emanated therefrom, and Vary still dreams of the voice. And Varys hates magic, which is why he was eager to fight against Stannis and his black magic.
Tyrion tries to bring the conversation back to himself because he wants revenge against whoever tried to have him killed. Varys counsels patience. When the sorcerer threw him out on the street (sorcerers are also litterbugs!), he resolved to live and became an excellent thief. He learned that the contents of a man's letters can be more powerful than the contents of his purse. He moved from the slums of Myr all the way to the Small Council chamber. Varys explains, "Influence grows like a weed. I tended mine patiently until its tendrils reached from the Red Keep all the way across to the far side of the world. Where I managed to wrap them around something very special." He finally opens the box, which contains: an old man. Tyrion realizes that this is the sorcerer from earlier. Varys says, "I have no doubt the revenge you want will be yours in time. If you have the stomach for it." He closes the box again. I enjoyed that more than that sorcerer did, I suspect.
Night's Watch. They're shoveling pig shit at Craster's farm. Morale is not high, and I can see why. This isn't the glamorous life they were promised when they were told they had to join the Night's Watch or get executed. One unnamed fellow grouses, "We need to get out of here." He and someone else don't like that Lord Commander Mormont won't let them go. I'm going to call them Grouser and Griper. And I'm not going to pay any attention to which is which, so some of the other men might get called that too. They're just an undifferentiated mass of Gripers and Grousers now. Their main gripe (and grouse) is that Mormont is the one who sent them to the Fist of the First Men, and that was just a nightmare fight against snow zombies. So they're losing confidence in his judgment. They're also convinced that Craster will serve them up to the Walkers, given half a chance. A Griper says, "If we want to live, we'll have to look out for ourselves."