Armed men break a lock and exit a tunnel. Stannis's men are still battering away at the gate. Someone is shouting at them to hurry up, but Tyrion comes up behind him and CHOPS HIS LEG OFF! Get 'em, Tyrion! Tyrion now tells everyone to attack and there's more carnage and blood everywhere. They roll the battering ram over and the fight's over pretty quickly. They start chanting, "Halfman! Halfman! Halfman!" Then Tyrion looks out toward the beach and says, "Oh, fuck me." There are lots more of Stannis's men coming. The battle continues! You didn't think it was going to be that easy, did you, Tyrion?

More fighting. The armies clash! Stannis is up on the wall and carving his way through the defenders. He cuts the top of one guy's head clean off. Down on the beach, Tyrion dodges a few attacks and loses his axe. His attacker gets taken out, but he's quickly replaced by a larger, scarier attacker. The large, scary attacker swings his sword and now Tyrion has an impressive cut all the way across the center of his face. If he were one inch closer to the attacker, he would have had his head chopped in two. And then! The larger attacker suddenly gets a spear through the head. And who saved him? Podrick, that's who! Good work, Podrick! Tyrion slumps and Podrick runs up to him. Man, Podrick turns out to have been a good squire. Tyrion was right to trust him. If you're only going to trust one person, it's important to pick the right one.

Cersei is on the Iron Throne and she's got as much right to it as anyone, really. She has Tommen on her lap, and she's trying to soothe him. This is difficult, because the sound effects suggest that there's fighting right outside the throne room. She wants to tell him a story about the mother lion and the baby cub that lived in the Kingswood. There were other things in the Kingswood. Evil things. Like stags. Tommen objects that stags aren't evil. "They only eat grass!" he points out. This kid doesn't get symbolism yet. Well, Cersei adds wolves to the list. They're not inherently evil, but at least they're more menacing. I'm with Tommen, though. It's hard to build a good parable out of the innocent lion that was menaced by the evil stag. Outside on the beach, Tyrion is woozy as he watches soldiers ride up on horses and start chopping off heads. The riders have a banner with a lion on it. Cersei's story involves the lion cub learning that all the animals will bow to him. Even the squids, I guess, although it's not clear how a cephalopod bows. The camera points at the door to the throne room as she continues "They will all come to you, little lion, to rest a crown on your head." Cersei unstoppers her nightshade. Tyrion closes his eyes and fades. The soldiers on horseback are chopping off heads left and right while Cersei's story continues as a voiceover. She concludes with, "I will keep you safe my love. I promise you." She's got the bottle to Tommen's lips when the doors burst open. It's Loras Tyrell and some soldiers! Wait, Loras?