Somehow, this leads Varys to say, "I don't believe I've ever told you how I was cut." Did you forget he was a eunuch? He's a eunuch. And he's got an enthralling story about it. But he's not going to tell it right now. Tyrion meets the eyes of Podrick, because some things you just have to shrug at somebody about. Varys says the dark arts have given Stannis his armies and he can think of nothing worse than a man like that on the Iron Throne. And tonight, he believes that Tyrion is the only man who can stop him. Podrick hands Tyrion an axe. Tyrion should be good with an axe. After all, it's the traditional Dwarven weapon. I am equal parts proud and ashamed of that joke. That's a lie -- it's almost all pride.
Back out to the boats and they're close enough to hear the bells. Matthos says they're welcoming in the new king, but Davos says bells never mean surrender. Davos says they can counter with their own music. Start the drums! And sure enough, all the boats have cool war drums. We see Stannis briefly, but he's just looking out to sea. It's very picturesque.
Tyrion is going over the final preparations with Bronn. Well he's trying, but the problem is that they've already gone over them, so Bronn knows the plans and Tyrion is just getting on his nerves. Bronn asks if Tyrion knows how to use the axe and the answer is that Tyrion once chopped some wood. Well, he watched Jaime do it. Bronn says he saw Tyrion kill a man with a shield, so he should be unstoppable with an axe. That's the spirit! They shake hands. Bronn suggests that Tyrion not get killed. Tyrion is unexpectedly touched and answers, "Nor you, my friend." Then they both realize they're friends, so they quickly make jokes to defuse the situation. Tyrion talks about how he pays Bronn money and how Bronn has an unexpectedly good vocabulary. Bronn says he's been spending time with "fancy folks" and throws in a bow that's only a little sarcastic. I like how they've brought Bronn out a bit in this episode. The story from his point of view is pretty straightforward: he defended Tyrion in the Eyrie and then got hired by him. Since then, he's killed who he's been told to kill. Simple!
Tyrion now sees Sansa in the company of her handmaiden Shae. Because he is clever, he calls Shae "Sheila" to make it look like he can't remember her name. Tyrion asks if Sansa shouldn't be with the other highborn ladies in Maegor's Holdfast. That was indeed Cersei's plan, but Joffrey has requested that Sansa come see him off. Well that does sound appropriate, actually. So here comes Joffrey, accompanied by the Hound and a squad of hand-picked fighting men. Joffrey calls Sansa over and on her way she tells Tyrion that she'll pray for his safe return. She clarifies, "Just as a I pray for the king's" so that Tyrion doesn't get any ideas. Tyrion is left alone with Shae and they tell each other to stay safe. Tyrion goes off to wherever he's going and Podrick runs after him, carrying his shield and axe. I guess that's Podrick's basic job.