Game of Thrones
Garden of Bones

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: A- | 3 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Bucket of Rats

One poor prisoner has a seriously messed up foot. The official diagnosis is gangrene, although it's dressed up in some old-timey talk about how the death has set in. The point is, it will have to come off. The patient is not happy about this. Robb goes to soothe him, although he should really be soothing the guys who fought on his side. The foot gets sawed off and the patient gets loaded onto the cart. Robb looks pensively at the woman who performed the amputation. She's willing to tell him her first name is Talisa, but she won't share her last name. She figures that he just wants to know which side her family is sworn to, but she seems to consider herself above all that. She blames Robb for that amputated foot and Robb feels the need to defend himself, saying, "I have no hatred for the lad." She ripostes with, "That should help his foot grow back." She says the boy didn't have anything to do with Ned Stark's head getting cut off or, in fact, any of the things that Robb is fighting over. Robb says he can't just go back to Winterfell, but he promises to go home just as soon as he's killed Joffrey. And no, he has no plan for what's supposed to happen to Westeros after that. All he wants to do is invade, kill the king and leave. I imagine this could be some kind of political allegory for the Iraq war, although it was written in 1998, eight years before Saddam Hussein died. Talisa is not impressed. Robb tries to make nice by telling her the boy was lucky she was there. "He's unlucky that you were," she shoots back. Robb stands there, dumbly.

Enough of the brutality of war. Let's move on to the brutality of the throne room at King's Landing! From the Iron Throne, Joffrey points a crossbow down at Sansa, who tearfully asks for her life saying that her traitor brother's actions have nothing to do with her. There are plenty of people standing around and watching, because what's the point in doing this sort of thing unless you have a gaggle of sycophants watching you do it? Lancel Lannister interrupts the show by lecturing Sansa about how wolves fell on Stafford Lannister (via sorcery, he guesses) and then the Northmen ate the flesh of the slain. Lancel is the weedy kid who was Robert Baratheon's squire when he died and later we saw him in bed with Cersei, who's his cousin or something. Cersei's got a type. Joffrey looks down his crossbow at Sansa and muses that killing her would definitely send a message to Robb Stark. That message, although Joffrey doesn't know it, would be, "We no longer have any important hostages and there is no reason for you to hold off on killing Jaime Lannister." Joffrey's got a different reason for not doing it: Cersei says he's not allowed to. But he still wants to send a message, so he has one of his knight punch Sansa in the gut. While wearing full armor. And he's not done! Joffrey instructs his knight, "Leave her face. I like her pretty." Another punch to the gut! A whack with the flat of the sword! Sansa's dress ripped off! Joffrey's enjoying this: "If we want Robb Stark to hear us, we'll have to speak louder!" Sword out! But just then!

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Game of Thrones

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