Game of Thrones
Garden of Bones

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: A- | 3 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Bucket of Rats

"What's the meaning of this?" It's Tyrion, striding down the middle of the throne room. He would like to know what kind of knight beats a helpless girl. The answer: "The kind who serves his king, Imp." Bronn advises care: "We don't wanna get blood all over your pretty white cloak." I enjoy the way Bronn looks down at the random courtly clothing the knight is wearing. It's a lot like the way Stannis made fun of Theon's outfit when he first got to Pyke. Tyrion lectures Joffrey about not punishing his future queen for someone else's crime: "She did not fight her brother's battle, you halfwit." Joffrey doesn't like that: "The king can do as he likes!" I guess he was brought up to believe that. Tyrion says that's what the Mad King thought and look what happened to him. Perhaps, suggests Tyrion, Joffrey's "uncle" Jaime Lannister, the Kingslayer, could help enlighten him. The knight makes to pull his sword and says that no one threatens the king in the presence of the Kingsguard. Tyrion claims he was just educating his nephew. Then he tells Bronn to kill the knight the next time he speaks. "That was a threat. See the difference?" Tyrion's a lot of fun.

Tyrion walks down the steps and offers his hand to the kneeling Sansa, who stands. They walk out and Tyrion apologizes for his nephew's behavior. Given a chance to say she wants out, Sansa naturally claims that she is loyal to King Joffrey, her one true love. She and her ladies in waiting walk out, leaving Tyrion to muse, "Lady Stark. You may survive us yet." Bronn thinks Joffrey's all clogged up with sexual tension, resulting in his ridiculous behavior. Tyrion asks, "You think dipping his wick will cure what ails him?" Bronn shrugs. "There's no cure for being a cunt." But it couldn't hurt, is their general opinion.

Joffrey snits into his chambers and is not happy to see The Hound there. He's only there to deliver the news that Tyrion has left Joffrey a Name Day present in his bedroom. It is a young lady! Two of them, in fact, one of whom is our favorite King's Landing prostitute, Ros. We're done with The Hound now. He wasn't really essential to the scene, in my opinion, because the two young ladies also explain the premise: Tyrion sent them as a Name Day present. Joffrey objects that his Name Day is past, but they're not sticklers for calendrical accuracy. He wants them to make out for his entertainment. Joffrey is a lot like the directors of this show, when you think about it. They do so. He asks Ros, "Could you hit her?" Sure. There's some light spanking. They say they were chosen by Tyrion personally. He smiles and takes off his belt. "Use this."

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Game of Thrones

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