Game of Thrones
Kissed by Fire

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: A | 11 USERS: A+
Fire and Water

A squire named Oliver (not "Polliver," although their names sound quite similar) comes out to give Loras a drink and help him off with his armor. He tells him, "I should like to see you spar with a proper partner, ser." The next scene is them making out. There were no sex scenes last week, so I guess they needed to get their average up in this episode. I imagine the Game of Thrones showrunners are looking over their shoulders at shows like The Borgias and worrying about maintaining their lead in nudity. Loras asks how Oliver knew he'd be up for sex with a hot male squire, when his intended has no idea. Oliver (who is naked, and there's about a second of full frontal male nudity, so let someone know if you have a Bingo) answers, "They rarely do, in my experience." Then there's more making out. So the theme of this episode is either fire, water or nakedness. Take your pick, really.

Cut to: Littlefinger's chambers. Littlefinger smirks and tells Oliver it didn't take long to get in there. So Oliver has learned that the Tyrells are indeed planning to marry Loras to someone. Littlefinger wonders who the lucky girl is that Loras is intended to marry. Good plotting, Littlefinger! If he could have found Arya through being a sneaky little weasel, she'd have been tracked down immediately.

Sansa stands at one of the many picturesque outlooks and watches a ship on the water. Littlefinger comes up behind her and humblebrags that it's his. He'd always wanted a ship and now that he has one, he wants a dozen. He says her hair is different, because she's wearing it like Margaery does. She claims that lots of women are wearing their hair like this, but that probably just means that Margaery is having a lot of influence around the court. Littlefinger asks if she still wants to go home. She does! I wonder if maybe she doesn't know that Winterfell burned down. She's actually a little iffy on going home now: "But maybe it would be better to wait." She claims it would be dangerous for Littlefinger to help her and he claims to be touched. He assures her that he is her good friend. He also asks her to call him Petyr, rather than Lord Baelish. At this point, I should point out that he's using a weirdly deep and raspy voice. I think it's supposed to inspire trust, but it's a little Christian Bale-as-Batman, if you know what I mean. I mean it sounds silly. He tells her, "If you wish to stay, then of course, you will stay." He kisses her hand and leaves. I believe he has concluded two things from their conversation. First, she's falling under the influence of Margaery, as shown by her hairstyle. Second, she's much less interested in going home for some reason. And also, she's the only unattached woman at court that the Tyrells might be scheming about, so it was pretty obvious.

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Game of Thrones




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