Game of Thrones

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: A- | 9 USERS: A
You Need Me on That Wall!

Jaime Lannister is there, too, but I already know how he was made. They had a heroic jawline, a floppy yellow hairstyle, and a complete lack of morals and dumped them all into a shiny suit of armor. He greets Lord Stark with his usual combination of fake friendliness and real condescension. He has a charming analogy to describe what Ned's job as Hand of the King is going to be like: "The King shits and the Hand wipes." At least, I assume it's an analogy. Lord Stark tries to get back at Jaime by making fun of how shiny and unmarked his armor is, but Jaime claims that he's had many people try to attack him, but they all missed him. Jaime then changes the subject from metaphorical shit-wiping to the time that he watched Ned's father die. Jaime just stood there and watched the Mad King Aerys Targaryen kill him and didn't do anything. But, Jaime emphasizes, there were 500 other people there, and they didn't do anything either. It was right here in this giant throne room, which was dead silent. And this is also where Jaime killed the Mad King. It seems like Jaime's kind of trying to make friends with Lord Stark as he says, "When I watched the Mad King die, I remember him laughing as your father died. It felt like justice." But Lord Stark doesn't seem to like the fact that Jaime stabbed the king in the back. Jaime appears to feel that this is unfair, since Lord Stark was also rebelling against the king at the time. Stark is full of righteous indignation: "You served him well. When serving was safe." Lord Stark is kind of a snot, if you ask me. When you're killing Mad Kings, sometimes it's easier to stab 'em in the back. If you want to be all honorable and aboveboard, maybe king-killing isn't the best career for you.

With that out of the way, Lord Stark enters a place that my notes mysteriously refer to as "a smaller (but larger) room." I can't imagine what I was thinking when I wrote that. Surely it can't be both of those things at the same time. It's a smaller room than the Throne Room, but it's still pretty big. I think that's what I was trying to get at. And it's filled with people that have to be introduced to Lord Stark, which means they get introduced to us. By name! First we have Lord Varys, an unctuous, berobed gentleman, who tells Stark that they're all praying for Joffrey's recovery. I'm sure Stark is all broken up about whether Prince Jerk is going to be all right. The other people in the room are Renly Baratheon and Petyr Baelish. Petyr Baelish is called "Littlefinger" everywhere but in this scene (and the next scene he's in), so I'm just going to jump straight to calling him that. If you're wondering what sort of guy he is, let's put it this way: he's played by Aidan Gillen, who played political weasel Tommy Carcetti on The Wire. So that should save a bit of characterization time.

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Game of Thrones




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