Game of Thrones
The Ghost of Harrenhal

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: A | 4 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
So Long, Renly

Tyrion looks at a jar of green liquid. I guess someone's discovered the secret of creating purest green. That would be the old creepy guy over here, who assures him that the substance burns wood, stone, steel, and flesh. "It melts flesh like tallow!" After the dragons went away, it was key to Targaryen dominance. Bronn is skeptical of all these claims, since he's seen lots of pig shit get called Wildfire. Old Guy insists that it's not pig shit. I believe him, because if your pig shit is bright green, you have some very sick pigs. The plan is to load these jars of supposed wildfire into catapults and thus destroy any incoming fleets. Bronn thinks catapults need to be manned by real soldiers, most of whom are out on the battlefield. And even with proper soldiers, battles are chaotic situations and bottles get knocked over. And if the stuff in the jars is as powerful as the older gentleman is claiming, that would be bad. Except he says all this much more rudely, which draws this response: "You would not dare insult my order while Aerys Targaryen lived!" Bronn shrugs and says the wildfire didn't help Aerys much. In his opinion, men win wars, not magic tricks. Tyrion is let into a storage room where there are allegedly 7,811 pots. The whole order has been working tirelessly. Bronn: "This is a shit idea. Tyrion calls the old guy Wisdom Hallyne, and I would have appreciated it if that could have been worked in earlier in the scene. Tyrion says, "The contents of this room could lay Kings Landing low. You won't be making wildfire for my sister any longer. You'll be making it for me." I don't get the impression that Wisdom cares who he makes wildfire for. Some men just want to see King's Landing burn.

Off to Qarth! Daenerys and one of her handmaidens are watching a baby dragon. They tell it, "Trakaris" and it burns a chunk of meat before eating it. Then it goes to sleep. They are delighted that they've taught it a trick. The other handmaiden is annoyed. Then there's talk of dresses. The wealthiest man in Qarth has given Dany a dress, which reminds her of the last dress she got. You remember, that time she was sold to Drogo? They argue about whether she's a princess (who wears fancy dresses) or a khaleesi (who has swords). But the consensus is that she should wear the dress anyway because she's a guest.

Oh, it's a garden party! How delightful! As an example of the light discussion that happens at a garden party, a partygoer encourages Dany to attend the night market. She breaks off to talk to her men, who are arguing about whether a statue of a peacock is too heavy to carry off. They may be small, but they're still a dothraki horde at heart. One of them has a theory that it might be too heavy to lift, but it's pure gold, so they can cut off as much as they can carry. Daenerys is mad at them for planning on stealing from people who treat them as guests, but they have a way out of that moral dilemma: they'll wait until they're leaving before stealing anything. That way, they won't be guests anymore! Daenerys still won't allow them to steal it, which makes her something of a killjoy.

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Game of Thrones

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