Game of Thrones
The Night Lands

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: A- | 3 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Thirteen and Pregnant

Whoops. Got distracted. Snow's sharpening his sword. Samwell brings Gilly to talk to him, which he's not supposed to do. Craster said Snow wasn't even allowed to look at any of the local wives. Gilly says that Sam said that Snow could help. The problem is that she's pregnant, so Sam wants to bring her along on the incredibly dangerous mission full of men who have taken a vow of chastity. Snow says that's impossible. What Gilly's actually worried about is having a boy. If it's a girl, she just grows up to be the latest generation of incest wife. But if it's a boy... well, she doesn't actually say. She leaves so Sam and Snow can have an argument about Snow being cruel. Snow says Sam was trying to steal Gilly, Sam counters with the logical point that Gilly is a woman, not a goat. Snow says that this isn't a mission they can bring a woman on. And they don't have anyone who can deliver her baby, even though Sam claims to have read "a bit about it." That's what happens when you don't have the resources of the Internet available to you. Imagine a world where you don't have control of the kind of pornography you consume. Scary, right?

We now move east to the Red Waste. This desert is where Daenerys (or "Dany" if you're tired of typing long vowel-heavy names all the time) Targaryen is currently stranded with her khalasar, which is a pretend-foreign word for a posse of horse-riding savages. Everyone's sitting around exhausted. They look like they're out of water, although the first thing that happens is that Jorah (Daenerys's advisor and the only one besides her who speaks English in this whole subplot) drinks from a canteen. So maybe they're all just really sleepy. It's the middle of the day, though. It seems like it's always the middle of the day in this desert. Jorah notices a horse riding out of the desert and draws Dany's attention to it. It has no rider! But it does have a saddlebag that appears to be dripping water. Although when Jorah investigates, it turns out that that bag has a head in it. So I guess you probably wouldn't want to drink the water. Dany is outraged by this and demands to know who could have done such a thing. Jorah's been lounging around in the middle of the desert right next to her, so I don't know how she thinks he's going to know exactly who's responsible. He names a couple of local khals who could have objected to a woman leading a khalasar. Dany proclaims, "They will like it far less when I am done with him." The dead guy's wife sobs that they killed his soul by not burning his body, which means he can't join his ancestors. So Dany has to have a funeral pyre, because one thing you want when you're in the middle of a scorching desert is heat. She promises the woman, "Rakharo will ride with his ancestors tonight." She doesn't seem that reassured. Wailing to the heavens can't be good for your throat when you're out of water.

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Game of Thrones

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