Game of Thrones
The North Remembers

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B+ | 4 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Even More Kings

Sex! For no reason! Ah, this is more prostitute lessons. The one on top is apparently too energetic. The madam tells them to wash up because they're working together. That was an important and productive scene. Why don't they just make a show set in a brothel? I think the whore who's being lectured to is Ros, from the first season. She's being told how to talk to the owner of the place: "Don't call him Littlefinger. He doesn't like it. Lord Baelish." One of the prostitutes pretends she can't speak "the common tongue" so she'll seem exotic. I guess prostitutes specialize in "exotic tongues." That's a pun!

Someone gets hustled into the room (as opposed to the usual process, ho ho ho), and goons kick doors open. The madam tries to warn the leader about Littlefinger owning the place, but they don't care. The goons drag out a whore with a baby. A man nods. They pull away the baby, out with the knife and they kill the bastard. It's offscreen, but there's a squelching noise that makes it pretty gross. I should add that I say "bastard" because this is one of King Robert's bastards. I wasn't just casting aspersions on his character. He's the one that Ned came to see last season, probably.

Across town, other bastards get killed. It's the cleansing of the bastards! The blacksmith, whose face is being held to the coals, tells the name of the one that was an apprentice there, that he's got a bull's-head helmet, and that he's going to the wall with the rest of the gang. We see the helmet in a cart. And Arya! Remember her? She's on her way to the Wall, but now the Lannisters are hunting down her cart! What a dramatic way to end an episode!

Follow Monty on Twitter at @monty_ashley and read his blog, Mysterious Exhortations.

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