Game of Thrones
The Old Gods and the New

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: A | 7 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Don't Lose the Hostages

Sansa gets her wounds touched up by Shae, who you'll remember is her handmaiden when she's not being Tyrion's... uh, bedmaiden. Sansa thought she was going to be killed because all the men out in the city hated her. Shae explains, "You are everything he will never have. Your horse eats better than his children." Sansa protests that she hates the king more than anyone and Shae tells her not to say that out loud. Sansa trusts Shae, but Shae accurately explains to her how to live: "Don't trust anybody. Life is safer that way."

Theon is asleep in his bed, all passed out from glorious wildling sex. Osha sneaks out of the room. Theon stirs a little, but doesn't otherwise notice.

Osha walks out into the Winterfell courtyard. A guard asks her, "And where are you going?" She claims Theon told her to "make the rounds and keep you warm." Then she steals his knife and stabs him. That's some sloppy guarding. Did he really think Theon was a sharing person? She whistles. Rickon comes out and so does Hodor, carrying Bran. The wolves come too. It's an escape!

Qarth. Daenerys whines about the Spice King (who won't give her any ships) the Silk King (who's in with the Lannisters, so definitely won't help her) and the Copper King (who offered one boat for a night of sex). Daxos says he came to the city with nothing. And now? "Today, I am the richest man in Qarth." He recommends against being honorable. He's done many things that were not righteous. They go into a courtyard filled with dead Dothraki. At Daxos's order, the gates are barred and bells are rung. She goes up to her room, where she sees empty dragon cages and dead handmaidens. She shouts, "WHERE ARE MY DRAGONS?"

Screeching dragons (well, boxes that make the sound of screeching dragons) are carried up some stairs by someone we don't see. The person carrying them is using some kind of yoke that makes him look crucified. And he's going up toward a large tower. That's all we know!

Follow Monty on Twitter at @monty_ashley and read his blog, Mysterious Exhortations.

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Game of Thrones

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